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Doober Pooberton
Well this budget motel has bedbugs so at least I won't be sleeping alone tonight
*batman, waiting* Ughhhhhh I'm like super bored... *sees a crime* Omg omg omg a crime! Squeeeeeeeee this is totally exciting!
Breaking news: Somewhere, some guy has donned a fedora and is going to go outside
Lightning is just the sound of God fastening his ponytail
yea baby....... oh hell ya........ HELL YEAH BABY!!!!! Oh Hell Yah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #HellYaBaby
Retweeted by Doober Pooberton
22.9k is enough. Or is it? Tonight, I discuss numbers with @murrman5 and see if they are good.
"eep dop zoop zop watch out!" Bill Cosby jumps in, grabs the knife and slices the doughboy in half Mr bean makes face like 😲@HammerFist33
Pillsbury doughboy: ho ho! Poke my belly and I tell a secret! Mr. Bean: cheerio (Pokes belly) PD: ho ho! I'm the zodiac killer @HammerFist3
Now it's time for me and @HammerFist3 to write some Mr. bean fan fiction
And here it is, the greatest tweet ever pic.twitter.com/aH2YLiQipY
I haven't tweeted at all today, but it's all going to be worth it once I drop this next tweet all in yo butt!
From the people that brought you, "Patton Oswalt is a Racist" pic.twitter.com/CzcZLfVv3W
What if when cops run out of tear gas they have to reenact the beginning of "Up" to produce the same effect?
The royal baby is even more beautiful than I remember pic.twitter.com/uRdgXYMYaU
Criminals back in the 50's would always get caught because the smooth trumpet music that followed them around made them easy to find
Theo: Dad? Can't we have real food? We've had pudding pops and jello for 5 years now. (Bill Cosby starts shaking) jello...not...real...food?
Gonna go kill a rattlesnake with my bare feet brb
I want to die surrounded by my friends pic.twitter.com/TtutjFtn3o
Bobby flay has eaten so much delicious food in his life he probably tastes delicious
republican: i would like to address boring economy issues. i don't own any rap mixtapes. democrat: [cupping hand to ear] I can't heear yoou!
Retweeted by Doober Pooberton
The doctor called, he said your shoes look stupid.... & it's terminal
Retweeted by Doober Pooberton
Hey how you doin Lil mama let me whisper in your ear pic.twitter.com/u1AvyGf8Rq
The comments on this picture are driving me bonkers pic.twitter.com/5QHtLopxl1
Oh no this thing is inside my house help! pic.twitter.com/rmkujPNYDQ
Haven't slept all night 😎
After the gym I eat an entire live chicken as the meat contains #protein and the chicken has eggs inside which contain #protein
Sitting here, waiting for online interaction like pic.twitter.com/yGgb9uB28u
This place looks pretty dope haha get it? pic.twitter.com/SIzQRuumg8
first water beds and now air beds? Lol what's next an earth bed haha then a fire bed? STOP MAKING BEDS OUT OF ELEMENTS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE