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Lew
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My manager just called me "Lew-arse"
Instead of coming upstairs to actually speak to me, my mother sends me text messages from downstairs so she doesnt have to move from the TV
Don't complain about being single if you do shit like this ๐Ÿ™…pic.twitter.com/6cnOJed47ii
You can hide things and be secretive, but a girl will always find out EVERYTHING
The "I can't think of my own tweets" starter pack pic.twitter.com/1vF0hAekIe
Retweeted by Lew
When I get home I just want to devour everything in sight
That same guy just came over because he thought I was going to drop the bar on my face mid bench press. I wasn't, but what a hero ๐Ÿ™Œ
Just watched this guy pick his girlfriend up for a hug and spin her round when she came to say hello at the gym. that shit is adorable
All they talk about at tea break is cars, car parts and engines. I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about
Stop fucking romanticising having children when you're still a teenager and should be more focused on your education and career
Spontaneously combusts, Runs away from water. pic.twitter.com/YXTfUPlnRP
Retweeted by Lew
โ€œ@TheStartrPack: The 1975 fan starter pack pic.twitter.com/RZn5TpWWIRโ€ @LibbyMai_ you used to have a thing for black lipstick lmao
"Are you listening to Oasis?" No mum it's Balance and Composure shut the fuck up.
Being called by the wrong number is strange
Retweeting something because you're secretly trying to send someone a message
I need the Sims 4 editor and I need to use it on my face
My new bed gets delivered next Friday. I've never had a double bed to myself before, i'm so fkin excited
My mum got a ยฃ5K refund on PPI from an overdraft 20 years back. lmao no way
It's 11am. I'm cooking bacon and egg and drinking tea whilst pop punk songs play in my house
A 60 something year old woman in The Co-op got the newspaper, tonight's lottery numbers then asked for a large bottle of vodka. What a hero
The co-op doesnt sell sausages. Is that a joke? How can I cook a full english now ๐Ÿ˜ 
If your bio says something like "rapper, entrepreneur and producer" I read it as "bullshitter, compulsive liar and try hard"
I'd like to get really drunk soon
Think about this, somewhere in a group chat there could be a picture of you that everyone is taking the piss out of and you'd never know
Had to force myself not to knock some fucker the fuck out when he made a blatant self harm reference to me over lunch
Apparently I'm a "happy little soul" this morning. ugh ๐Ÿ˜’
How dare you say you miss me with your spit still on his tongue
When I say lets keep in touch I hope you know I mean I wish that you'd grow up
#WeCanLandOnACometButWeCant listen to fucking music on youtube whilst using other apps
Retweeted by Lew
What is it with teenage girls all wearing the same 2/10 green parkas as their friends?๐Ÿ˜‚
13 year olds asking a 13 year old why she cheated on another 13 year old. What even is that
There's always a drug dealer on my college course
I've been abandoned by my college companions
A woman with a gorgeous Irish accent from the office spoke to me and I nearly passed out ๐Ÿ˜
The girl in subway smiled at me AND told me to have a nice day. Excuse me while I melt ๐Ÿ˜
It's 7:20 and this woman in town tried giving me a bible and telling me about God. Wow can you not
#YouKnowYoureBritishWhen Itโ€™s Philosopherโ€™s Stone not Sorcererโ€™s Stone
Retweeted by Lew
#YouKnowYoureBritishWhen You want to find out what happened on that bloody fishing trip
Retweeted by Lew
My coworkers are saying bad things about Enter Shikari. I don't think i'm okay with that
Right your wrongs empty your lungs you got shit, shit out of luck Were you expecting glory regaling stories of the pretty girls youve fucked
My parents didnt get me a card or even acknowledge that it's my birthday
Mcdonalds tastes just as good reheated
Being 19 is boring
I'm having mcdonalds breakfast brought to me in bed ๐Ÿ˜Š