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max

This MF tied his hammock to a drone and is flying around town like shit gravy 😭G
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i love brazilians they be speakin porch of geese and I be like πŸ‘…πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ damn baby quack quack
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The police thinking that they are in fast and furious
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Had my mobile phone nicked, IN LONDON, a few months ago. As he sped past, the robber said "I'd never dare do this if boris was still mayor" twitter.com/nadinedorries/…
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Her: I need me a man who can cook.. Me:
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& because I took a domestic flight during my holiday Virgin assumed that I wouldn't want my return flight home so they cancelled itπŸ™„
left my t shirt, flip flops & go pro in New York wp max wp πŸ˜…
Linkin Park ft Jay-Z - Numb (Encore). One of the greatest collaborations ever! RIP Chester Bennington.
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do bicep make fidget spinners?
Arguably the most high profile Town fan. So sad to learn of the news, everyone at #itfc passes on best wishes to Chester's family & friends twitter.com/buzzfeednews/s…
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First day as waiter Boss: Can you clear table 5? Me: Well I haven't done track and field since high school but. *runs at table..
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I just wanna have a bevvy at a beach bar but I'm 20 and Americans expect you to be 90 with a mortgage before you can have a drink
ζ‰‡ι’¨ζ©Ÿγ§ε±ι™Ίγͺテーブルクロス引き
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These kids took my uniform and now they're taking out ad space to taunt me and the cops won't fucking do anything about it
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FML delayed by an hour on the runway & they stopped serving bevs so I can't even crack open a cold one!!!
"do you have any pets" [remembers girls like sensitive guys] a cat "what's his name" [remembers girls also like tough guys] missile launcher
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Can we admire this blonde woman's attempt to split a minor moshpit up😭😭t4L
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Y'ALL LOOK AT WHAT THE FIRST LADY OF POLAND DID LMFAOOOOOO
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s/o to these fuckers who stole my phone for a couple hours
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Right mum that's aboot 5 tokes, pass to the fucking left
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Girl: Our Relationship is over. Me: Our relationship is what? Over.
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Imagine busting a nut just to have that nut one day bust you twitter.com/insideedition/…
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this is a nice photo until u spot the men next to us
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Wife: Why is there a charge for $3,000 to Men's Warehouse? Me: I have no idea. Don't go outside tho
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LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Well we're only halfway into 2017 but I'm pretty sure you won't find a worse sequence of tweets for worst tweets of the year.
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proper fucked it n taken a 7am shift tomorrow after teqqy ffs
How to finesse Brewdog for a free bev #GE2017
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This summer is gonna go offf booked boomtown, DC & NYC this weekπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ
MY BOYFRIEND SENT ME THIS AFTER I FOUND OUT HE CHEATED
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Racist xenophobics act hard on twitter but when its on sight...
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I remember bowling against this fella on wii sports twitter.com/dailyessex/sta…
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@laughingtory @EnglandNewsUK @LBC @NickFerrariLBC But if everyone smokes it on the streets, we will all get stoned ? maybe young kids too ?
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Person with an intense headache: migraines are terrible Unsuccessful wheat farmer: mine too
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Another child star fallen to drugsπŸ˜”x
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Norwich so deaddd this week
@luna_eclipse_ happy birthday Cec X
Aye nothing more I wanna do than to join Isis after a massive spliff ...
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