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Zayn
Just saying.
Nicki Minaj wants girls to be fine in their own skin when 40 percent of her is *ahem* "exaggerated" for fame.
this carrot on Cottontail Fizz though. #PBE
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Makin pancakes Makin Makin pancakes
BF: u have to keep ur animal facts under control tonight [at party] ME: *after 6 beers* aww shit I'm drunker than a common fruit bat y'all
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ME: [Landing a Client] Do we have a deal CLIENT: Got something for me to sign? ME: [Clutches briefcase] This just holds my meatball sub
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If anyone knows a reason why these two should not marry, speak now oβ€” "SHE PRONOUNCES QUESO 'KWAY-SO'" I yell from beneath the floorboards
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ME: can u pick me up in ur claws DRAGON: go AWAY dammit ME: can u just put me in ur mouth plsβ€”I wanna look out from ur teeth like im in jail
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[meeting of the planets] Jupiter: ok we're all here to.. *notices small planet w fake mustache in back* WHAT THE HELL? GET OUTTA HERE PLUTO
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Call me the potato boy because I play for all the chips! #Wavy or #Classic? Tweet us your preference! #intern ^AT
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Please help. Turns out monkeys need more clothes than I thought.
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ME: why is my son failing TEACHER: just because u gave him that name doesnt mean he'll be intelligent ME: [gasping] cover ur ears Smartboy
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R.i.p Miranda and Blake
You know you like it but it drives you insane
Yeah right
C9 vs fnatic wut
#Tweetlyricsthathavetobeshouted ITS THE REMIX TO IGNITION, HOT & FRESH OUT THE KITCHEN, MAMA ROLLIN THAT BODY GOT EVERY MAN IN HERE WISHIN
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"Holy fuck me long range" -@Dick_Hammer1
Ian Somerhalder is man-bae
Marshawn Lynch stored chicken wings in his socks while coaching at his youth football camp ble.ac/1HC9XXy
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Need sleep.
Caitlyn Jenner winning the Courage ESPY instead of Eric Berry.. 🐸🍡
cop 1: where'd the body go? cop 2: you said I could borrow it cop 1: *pulls gun* you have the right to remains I lent cop 2: sweet
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Time (3:)4 (5) bed
when she wanna hold hands before marriage
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There's an attack on titan movie coming out tomorrow???
Every music video in the early 2000's
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Turtles look like they're wearing helmets that are way too big for them.
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@NaughtyBoyMusic you fat joke stop pretending we're friends no one knows you .
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(Playfully of course)
Find someone you can make fun of and not have to send an apology to after
Why do people stay with someone that makes them unhappy
Her: "Guys with Blue Eyes 😩😩😍😍😍😍"y7TVne
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Ready for Fallout 4? Enter to win a copy here: gleam.io/V2gyG/main-men… from everyone at @MainMenuLive ! #MainMenu
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Waiting for an edgy Christmas album called Ho-Ho-Hozier....
got bit by a radioactive spider but all i got was incurable spider cancer
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Tennis is not a "white sport" btw. I don't know if social justice workers know this but Spanish players are the most predominant
ugh. Why can't people just congratulate Serena twitter.com/nancyleong/sta…
ive put like 12 different TV dinners in front of my flatscreen but it refuses to eat im worried something is wrong
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DRAXX THEM SKLOUNST #terries




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