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Matt Mira
"Win this auction and you can force your opponent to cook while receiving the most painful hand job ever"
"If I order fries, will you eat some?"
I'm at a train show.
#Frasier lovers unite! Join us for "Talk Salad &Scrambled Eggs" w/ @MattMira & @ThatKevinSmith Dec. 30th @ 8pm!
Retweeted by Matt Mira
FINALLY! The Patriots beat the Giants for the first time since 2007, 27-26, and remain undefeated on the season.
Retweeted by Matt Mira
Parisians are using this hashtag to find shelter. Don't use if you aren't trying to find/provide shelter.
Retweeted by Matt Mira
Guy Fieri used to sell flow master exhausts.…
Guy was told they would be serving curry.
"Hey, guys! Doesn't this look like literal shit?"
"I don't care how much olive oil you add, your dead relative isn't coming back"
You see that shitter over there. Thats where you can stick your notes pussy
Retweeted by Matt Mira
I was Batman once.
When even apps don't believe in you.
Tele Family. #lefty #guitarporn #fender cc @fenderguitar
Been playing this one a lot lately. #fendercustomshop Gene Baker master built "1950 telecaster" #guitarporn #lefty #guitargear
Sam Malone's best hair was in the pilot.
This was the guitar I talked to.
I think this screen shot sums up the wonderful relationship of @cameronesposito and @RheaButcher
Mets fans right now.

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