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Matthew Highton
On Sunday, at @dulwichinfants, @MattHighton lost his parrot. Luckily the children were VERY HELPFUL in locating it:…
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
Game history fact: the Doom strafing system was based on the movements of a hermit crab.
After 8 years of being a comedian, I still haven't got an audience. Please RT this video and help me #findmyaudience…
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
Tonight I will be swinging my way into a Camden pizza restaurant to do my new show, with @MattHighton in tow. HERE:…
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
Guys I just pooped spiders web. If this is a super power I can safely say I want out.
New Sci-Fi Western starring Michael Shannon and @NicholasHoult hell yeah, I am in!…
Please note, when @MattHighton asked Dulwich kids what they thought of his jacket at yesterday's gig, one told him it's very "last season".
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
Hi everyone @lartymcparty is away and we have control of the @WeirdosComedy twitter feed. Head over there for my 5 funniest horses...
They call me Johnny Fast Fingers
Often people will say "but Matt what do you do at @ComedyClub4Kids?" I think this sums it up.
Just heard the pitter-patter of tiny feet. Am terrified because my house is fully carpeted and it can only mean they're on the ceiling.
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
What people don't know about Jimmy Nails Crocodile Shoes is as a direct result he has no feet...
I just did some DIY it's not as hard as everyone says once you've got the fires under control.
"Just me and Dave Benson Phillips gunging people whilst crying" - #edfringe interview with @MattHighton…
Retweeted by Matthew Highton
Every 4th of July I make a joke about Will Smith and every year lose followers as a result, one day Ill look back and thingsll be different!
Its exactly 18 years since Will Smith punched an alien and pulled back with a toilet flushing noise.
When is ITV gonna do a life-size game show version of mousetrap?
I mean when you actually try to explain a Hippo to someone whose never seen one you begin to doubt they actually exist.
Did you know Sir Ian McKellen will only take roles where he can do everything without the aide of special effects.