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2016 presidential elections:
"i don't like your driving"
every time i watch the olympics, i think to myself, fuck i wish my parents made me do a sport from a young age
pizza can lift any mood
i am questioning my sanity as i keep seeing the same excessively overweight gentleman eating a meal on different benches around my town
i just want everyday to be stress-free
I know I've had a heavy weekend but am I actually seeing a Llama in the river outside our office.
Retweeted by marni
me most of the time
about to demolish this
me & my bro simultaneously opened a can of coke, realised that we were both in sync, and then without saying anything, we touched coke cans
i spend a lot of time in the mirror for someone who is ugly af
ariana ghandi
just tried this on my gf. she is now non verbal and has a fit every time she sees the colour green.…
Retweeted by marni
mcdonald's workers rly are special, spent £4.98 paid with a £50 note, this guy gave me £65.02 back, thanks for paying me to eat ur shit food
i want this cat
if you meow at my cat persistently she replies with a meow and rolls on her back - works every time don't ask how i figured that out
this jeep is beautiful
those modern refrigerators which repeatedly beep at you if the door is left open - fuck you i'm browsing here
fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me three time... drop the fucking album…
Retweeted by marni
"Couple tings had free yard as well kmt"
Retweeted by marni
england you're a failure at everything
if you're looking for inspiration, think about how shit jeremy corbyns life is right now, and how he is still manages to carry on
i don't think the pharmacist liked me
just bought a bacon roll for £2.40, am i a dickhead, i could of ate grass for free like a vegan
my cat is so jokes, she got bullied by this one big bird and now she's scared of all of them
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