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there's this brown fluffy cat who occasionally greets me before i go into my house at uni, and it's my only source of happiness
i swear you hear rae sremmurd black beatles everyday
me: oh no i shouldn't eat that other me: do it
at least america still has a black president orange is the new black right?
i want to be rich so i can spoil the fuck out of my parents
where was this teacher back in the day
"hey can i have a bite of that?"
do you think the ocean is salty because land never waves back
my milk expires the same day america does
i hate when you're in a queue and the person behind you thinks it's acceptable to make only a centimetre gap between you
is an earthquake on mars called a marsquake?
"Dude chill she said Rawr XD to me first i swear bro"
Retweeted by marni
i hate when you're in a mood because that one particular person isn't giving you their attention
My freshers is going so well, burnt my room down last night 😅z
Retweeted by marni
if u rate impractical jokers i rate u
every time i work at my dads shop, some lady comes in & takes pics of me w/ her ipad, DO U KNO HOW BAIT THAT IS, holding a tv up to snap man
there are twelve black dots at the intersections in this image - your brain won't let you see them all at once
when ur feeling down and someone tells u to cheer up
i hate when you're having a good dream and someone wakes you up 😒
most people get drunk on saturday night but i went to a restaurant and ate chicken wings, a half rack of ribs & a rib-eye steak w chips lol
i love the internet
just caught my 24 yr old bro cleaning his room whilst listening to hollaback girl bro: what? me: nothing bro: the beats produced by pharrell
interstellar is one of the best films ever made
people want to see you do better but not better than them
sorry i couldn't hear you over my internal monologue
this is worth the read:
2016 presidential elections:
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