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pros and cons of making food pros: food cons: making
"oi look at this"
mentos should print small messages on their mints such as "you're amazing" or "looking good" and call them complimentos
when ur lowkey lonely af
i had to buy my brother dinner, he asked for butterflied seabass from m&s fucking £8??? the pescatarian twat
the most accurate portrayal of my life:
smelling good is one of my main priorities
if i have ever offended you: 1. i'm so sorry 2. it won't happen again 3. 1 & 2 are lies 4. you're a pussy
this is 100% me
january revision:
i just ate a whole chicken that served 3 people and i'm disgusted that i'm still hungry
if u say my name 3 times in front of a mirror at midnight, i'll appear and probably go to ur fridge, take some things and leave
social anxiety is horrible and if you've ever made someone feel this way you're the worst type of person
remember being a little cunt and sending someone this:
if you don't strategically eat your food so that the last bites to go in your mouth are the tastiest, look at your life
cold weather makes me want to hibernate
new clothes will always make me happy
i'm going to eat nothing less than 10,000 calories today
do not worry about what gifts you get today, don't be materialistic, happiness should derive from spending time with close ones💝
me: *wakes up* cat: merry christmas m8
grow through what you go through
it's my dad's birthday, and he's washing my mum's car... this guy is always doing the most to keep her happy
when you are dead, you do not know that you are dead, all of the pain is felt by others the same thing happens when you are stupid
there's this brown fluffy cat who occasionally greets me before i go into my house at uni, and it's my only source of happiness
i swear you hear rae sremmurd black beatles everyday
me: oh no i shouldn't eat that other me: do it
at least america still has a black president orange is the new black right?
i want to be rich so i can spoil the fuck out of my parents
where was this teacher back in the day
"hey can i have a bite of that?"
do you think the ocean is salty because land never waves back
my milk expires the same day america does
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