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Mark Mat
"Hey babe, you smell that?" "No." "Me neither, start cooking."
I’m a smart person…. I just do stupid things..
I'm shy at first but... I do the stupidest random shit when I get comfortable with someone.
Car rides without music = awkward.
homework.... ..home.. ..e.. ..tweet.. ....tweeting
My phone is my alarm clock, flashlight, music player and camera.
Stopping mid-sentence because a hot person walked past.
When your parents call you by your full name, you know shit's gonna happen.
Everyone has that one friend that ignore their calls, then act like they never got the call in the first place.
I really miss flip phones. You could always close your phone dramatically like, "Bitch, whatever."
S.T.U.D.Y = Singing, Tweeting, Unlimited Texting, Dreaming, Yawning.
Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.
iPhone > Android > Nokia > Land phone > Typewriter > 2 cans and a string > Message in a bottle > Pigeon with a note taped to it > Blackberry
2,800 teenage girls get pregnant everyday. Retweet if you like pancakes.
Running up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.
I love sleeping but I hate going to sleep.
Spongebob : Patrick , your a genius! Patrick : Yea , i get called that a lot Spongebob : What? a genius? Patrick : No , Patrick
Bad guys in movies: "But before I kill you, I want to tell you this really long story so you can be saved."
'Let's watch a scary movie!" *hours later* "Dude walk me to the bathroom..''
Looks like someone had a big bowl of bitchflakes today.
Retweet this with your tongue. (95% of people can not do this!)
We are the WTF generation: Wikipedia, Twitter and Facebook.
Old friend: "We need to hang out!" Never happens.
Using moms money: I'm going to buy that, and that. $150? I'm definitely buying that! Using my money: $5? Maybe thats too much..
"You took my daughters virginity!" "I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again."
Everything is funnier when you're with your bestfriend.
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
That " fuck everything" mood..
First day of school - I'm actually gonna try this year! Months later - Fuck it.
You have 2 choices: be real with me...or don't fuck with me.
Why I stop replying? 1) I'm busy. 2) You're boring. 3) I'm mad. 4) You replied with one word. 5) I'm on twitter. 6) I'm eating.
*Mom walks into room* *you pull up Google and stare at it.*
That awkward moment when someone is crying and you're trying your hardest not to laugh.
Google must be a woman, it knows everything.
Me: Okay, I'm gonna get home, get all my homework done, have dinner and then go to bed early. Twitter: Bitch, please.
Facebook is a lot like my fridge. I know there's nothing there, but I still check it every 10 minutes anyways.
That "WTF" moment when you do a math problem, and your answer isn't even one of the choices.
The older I get, the less people I trust.
That awkward moment when you're trying not to look when someone is staring at you.
Add This Guy @DarrenCBarnard he follow's back
I hate when I fall asleep and forget to charge my phone.
homework.... ..home.. ..e.. ..tweet.. ....tweeting
You assume I give a fuck? Cute.
When you turn 21, you can legally do all the things you've been doing since you were 15.
How I flirt? *Stares from distance*
You're so fucking weird... but I love it.
That awkward moment when the only text message you get all day is from your cell phone company.