That moment when you pour a bowl of cereal and realize there's no milk so you sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people.
Ummm yeah I got nothin. Keep scrollin.
If anyone ever tells you that you eat too much pizza, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
Is it weird that i love butter pecan icecream but without the pecans?? ...... nah
I felt weird licking chocolate off my shirt until I realized there was some on my pants too. #truestory
Can't lie, I still get a kick out of some people's names on here.
Just call me a hopeless romantic
Why would I pay a hundred bucks to go listen to a comedian when I get to listen to all of you for free?!
I know one day I'm gonna come up with a killer tweet, I just don't think today is that day though.
I really want to eat a nice healthy salad....
Preferably one made out of chocolate cake ;)
Tweet and delete.
Because sometimes those random thoughts that pop into your head should stay there.
In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am...
People tend to get angry when you treat them the same way they treat you.
It must be your tweets cuz it ain't your face. #bam
I don't know about y'all but i see alot of bbq's and its time for me to be friendly to the neighbors #freeload
Don't we all wish that we could trade our heart for another liver? That way, we could drink more and care less.
I don't buy that everyone thinks their kid is cute. There has to be a few that look at that new baby & think, "Shit. He better be funny."
If its not "just add water" then I will "just not make it" #bam
"Think before you tweet"
Yeah. That's never going to happen.
You eat six snack packs and all of a sudden you're "gross"
Why are me an @MISTRE353
ruining the weekend? #FuckItIGuess
I already know Ive been bad.
so at this point it's go big, or go home.
When she says, "Alright! Fine!! Just do whatever you want!"
You win! You can do whatever you want without any consequences!
You had your chance...tick tock tick tock.
Either im really Hungary or i can smell fried chicken every where i go.
I like shiny things.
No, no, not jewelry. Glazed donuts.
Get rich or buy great value.
Sometimes i wish i was somewhere else atleast for a day.
Don't trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
I don't always say a lot, but when I do, it's awkward for everyone...
Dam people stop outbidding me on e-bay!
Some days i wish i was related to the mafia.
Those bastards are trying to make me fat
Oh goody somebody left me chocolate cake in my locker do i dare eat it???? Um yes
Twitter: making me waste time, I never knew I had.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, lets have lunch.
Every time you leave things unsaid,
You’re actually saying more than you ever wanted to.
hi i am playing with u poker :D I am from colombia
It's funny how we pretend to be a therapist with our friends, but we can't actually solve our own problems.
Press on nails for her feet called ghettoes. Haha get it???.... Screw you guys
I've spent the last 8 hours trying to think up a tweet about how lame people who spend all day on twitter are.
I don't mind at all when people talk about me....It's understandable, I can't think of a better subject.
E-bay needs to cut me off! #addiction
Yup i delete tweets, i would delete some of yours to if i could.
when I'm shopping and a store doesn't have my size.
being automatically assumed of something because of your race.
Aww, you put me on a list :) Sweet! Oh, Wait...
Why am I the only one on it?
It's a hit list, isn't it?!
Anyone who says they don't have favorite tweeters is lying.
That's like saying you don't have a favorite kid!