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can you not
comedy love facts quotes 221,667 followers
Forever is true. For example, forever alone..
do you ever just crave someone’s presence? like you would literally be happy just sitting next to them & it could be completely silent.
me: *does weird things when home alone* me: i bet there's hidden cameras
Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
I'd like to nominate oomf for the jump off a bridge into oncoming traffic on the interstate challenge
"u think he's cute? have u tried telling him?" um yes
"every time you post something online the entire world sees it” yeah then explain to me why my tweet didn't get any retweets.
why do parents feel the need to hold your phone when you show them a picture
Text Flirting Tip: Don’t reply immediately. Play it cool, wait for a minute, then eventually forget to reply and ruin everything.
Always leave your hotel room like this
PHYSICS: It's the science where you use extremely long and complicated formulas to explain why a ball rolls.
When I laugh at jokes on the internet I don't even laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
The only advice I ever give: Don't go chasing waterfalls.
By putting my headphones in, I am politely telling you to shut the fuck up.
Damn bitch. Replace your chap stick with a glue stick and shut up.
I tend to say "I don't know" when I'm just too lazy to think.
well done bitch, you deserve a standing ovation from my tallest finger.
You inspire my inner serial killer.
some thoughts are so private that you only share them with a therapist or 17,000 people on the internet
A moment of silence for all those people who can't find their names on the Coke bottles.
can i nominate u for the boiling water challenge
See that big yellow thing in the sky? Yeah, the world revolves around that. Not you.