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can you not
I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they're ok.
It's sad going to McDonald's and finding out that a meal is happier than you.
i get anxious for ppl who fall asleep on public transit. like where is ur home? how many stops have u missed? this was not a time for a nap
"he's 936 months old" 78 ur grandpa is 78 years old
Guys have no idea how long something they've said can stay on a girls mind
You don't have to like me... I'm not a Facebook status.
"When the teacher asks you a question because they think you're not paying attention, and you get it right " pic.twitter.com/Ml5fTjujtI
Sorry I didn't get your text .... Just kidding, I ignored that shit.
Women are supposed to be like butterflies, beautiful and hard to catch. But most of y'all are like mosquitos, annoying and easy to smash.
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they're going to be talking.
That awkward moment when someone you like talks to you and all you can do is smile like an idiot.
baby: m....m...m mom: mama? ma? mommy? baby: m...m... baby: m..mY ANACONDA DONT
I get this at least 12 times a day pic.twitter.com/giCAIRNfG4
trying to complete a task before the microwave hits 0:00
i think its attractive when guys show their real emotions instead of pretending they dont care about anything
Boys Achievements Vs. Girls Achievement Aided by Sexual Appeal lmaofunniest.com/boys-achievemeโ€ฆ
never do this to your girl ๐Ÿ™…pic.twitter.com/CmX0pptDgII
i hate when people stare at me and donโ€™t say anything. i mean if you want an autograph or a picture just ask
when you realize you're kinda ugly โ•ญโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฏโ€โ€โ€โ•ฐโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฎ โ€โ•ฐโ”ณโ”ณโ•ฏโ€โ€โ€โ€โ•ฐโ”ณโ”ณโ•ฏ โ€โ€๐Ÿ’งโ€โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€๐Ÿ’ง โ€โ€๐Ÿ’งโ€โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€๐Ÿ’ง โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€โ•ฐโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฏ โ€โ€๐Ÿ’งโ•ฐโ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ•ฏ๐Ÿ’ง โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ€โ€๐Ÿ’งโ€โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€๐Ÿ’ง
isn't it weird that some people are up at 2 am missing someone and there's other people sound asleep with no idea they're being missed
Whenever you refresh your timeline and no one is tweeting pic.twitter.com/FRZQyS1LTd
When you're about to die but you need one last McChicken pic.twitter.com/PEKvhIwwk9
"i was so ugly last year" a continuous novel written by me
DO NOT GET A CRUSH EVER THEY CALL IT A CRUSH CAUSE IT CRUSHES UR SOUL AND EVERYTHING U STAND FOR
If you tell me youโ€™re going to sleep and I see you 10 minutes later on twitter, I understand completely.
how frustrating is it when you're like the only person who can see how evil and sneaky someone is and everyone else is like blind to it
High school is like a free trial on education and then once you've graduated they say "ok now if you want to continue, please pay $50,000"
I'm not heartless but I am emotionally unattached to many things. Either I'm nonchalant or truly passionate; there is no in between.
This chick on Instagram posts so many pictures of her boyfriend I feel like Iโ€™m dating him.
parents: It's your decision parents: *makes decision for you*
Don't mind me, I'm just typing this so I don't look like a loner in public while waiting for my friends.
That annoying moment when your parents start with: "when I was your age..."
When someone tries to flirt with me pic.twitter.com/4WQYoKm0ei
when u do a group project on your own pic.twitter.com/ecx79k8UnV
When the @ name you want is taken pic.twitter.com/FwkkhtaaDu
You can delete your post but you can't delete the screenshot I sent my best friend
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
Graduation Speech: Iโ€™d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.
My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, "How old are you." I said, "I'm five." He said, "When I was your age I was six."
Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person.
Every episode of my life starts with a short recap and the voice over says "Previously on wasted potential...."
The worst thing after waking up? Everything until I go to bed again.
The number of "followers" you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12.
Me everyday: today is not my day
i use sarcasm because flat out telling u ur a fucking moron is considered inappropriate & is frowned upon and i was raised better than that