Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Create your own wall, sign in free!
Louis C.K.
If you listen and are as pornily obsessed with NPR as I am. Donate. Money. It's free. Jesus. #NPR @KPCC @nprfreshair
Retweeted by Louis C.K.
Also please everybody give shitloads of money to fistulafoundation.org. They are a rarely good and blameless bunch.
I mean a fourth hole. Sorry. Seriously sorry.
But right now. As a cranky guy reading the paper, Fuck ISIS in all 3 holes and make a fifth and fuck them there too.
a Martian just like every displaced killed raped Iraqi Syrian by Assad bush saddam Cheney ISIS. The separation is an illusion.
Fuck ISIS doesn't mean yay America. I'm not saying this as an American. I don't believe they're coming here. I'm a Martian.
Or just homegrown raping marauding cunts they appear to be. Just really. Fuck them already. They stink.
Whether or not ISIS is really a bunch of Halliburton employees
I'm 47. seen a lot of assholes. But these ISIS fuckfaces Are the worst. ISIS please drink Sunoco gas and then have a smoke.
Oh, fuck you, ISIS. Sincerely please fuck each other in the mouth with forks. You're 7 year old boys. You're stupid. You suck.
By the by gang, please remember to get those flu shots! Don't come sniffling to me this winter if you don't! :)
Retweeted by Louis C.K.
Fun fact: the Super Bowl is the most watched program in the US and even is viewed worldwide by more than 30 million people...worldwide!
Retweeted by Louis C.K.
"Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." #MuhammadAli pic.twitter.com/VJerkbfTTW
Retweeted by Louis C.K.
I'm not high.
If you go "aaaaa!" For a jiblion years you stop even hearing yourself say it. Anyway that's just how it feels sometimes.
And that basic sad despair inside is us going "aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!" Through space. We're like on the 20'th "a"
We used to be one single thing that was nowhere. The Big Bang happened, sending us, which used to be a "me" hurtling outward.
Also I feel like I know the origin of the basic despair that we all feel in the pit of our being, that one thing we all share.
I would really like to emphasize that these are not opinions or theories. It's just a feeling I have.
The sun is the engine and if you wait til it all lines up just right and you push "go" you can ride it to a bigger far place.
And it feels like we are gonna keep bopping around on moons til we realize the whole solar system is actually a spaceship.
That's what it feels like anyway.
What was left turned into here and our moon and got seeded by marsian corpse DNA. And later we'll use our moon to go back.
That's the only way you could move billions of people-y types. But their moon crashed into pre-earth and everyone died.
It feels like they left mars on a moon that they pushed out of orbit and rode over here to try to orbit what was earth
I'm not saying I can prove it. I'm saying it feels like it.
It really feels like Mars used to be a here that got globally warmed by some very us-y people-things.
ok well you can now get my latest special "Oh My God" on vinyl amzn.to/1rALiQ3 or CD amzn.to/1veBnxn so. don't.
I seriously just can't think of anything to tweet. #sorry.
Goodbye pal. Thanks for everything.
I'm performing in Aug & Sept. on some shows for the Oddball Fest. Find the cities I'm doing and buy tix: tinyurl.com/oddballCK
I saw an incredible beautiful movie called "the Lunchbox" by @riteshbatra its on itunes. whoever you are, you have to see jt.
Well. Tonight is the last 2 eps oF LOUIE season 4 10pm on FX (9CST) with @pamelaadlon. Thanks for watching this season. Yaimp.
Last 2 eps of Season 4. Finale of Louie on tonight. Trust. Get ready for the waterworks. #Louiefx @louisck
Retweeted by Louis C.K.
This is from Arte's daughter. instagram.com/p/pFXab3B7ee/ Please take it down @TMZ please don't watch it @you
Please don't go to TMZ to watch the video. Please ask them to take it down. @TMZ
Arte's brave daughter asked them to take it down. They won't.
Ur all crashing the Link to story. Tmz has a video of footage of my friends Tracy and Arte in a terrible crash. They are in ICU
Take it down TMZ. Now. Please. ow.ly/2I316F
Daughter of Ardie Fuqua, critically injured in Tracy Morgan crash, wants TMZ to remove gruesome video ow.ly/2I316F
Retweeted by Louis C.K.
Tonight a 90 minute episode of LOUIE on FX at 10pm (9pm CST) lots of great people in it. It's all very intense. Oh my goodness.
Tonight. Charles Grodin Ellen Burstyn @pamelaadlon
Tonight. It's the fucking hurricane.
Next week is one 90 minute episode.
Tonight. 2 new eps of LOUIE on FX tonight at 10pm 9CST. 1st up is the last of Elevator. Then new stuff starts with 2nd ep.
I have my BIGGEST part yet in the 2nd ep of @LouieFX tonight. I also have a BIG new special for $5 on louisck.net.
Retweeted by Louis C.K.
Tonight 2 new episodes of LOUIE on FX 10pm 9CST. What else can I say? I like jasmine rice and I don't like diseases.
violin scene from last night's LOUIE the great Ursula Parker youtube.com/watch?v=j8UzeF… 2 new episodes every MOnday on FX 10pm est