when you have unlimited texting but only text about zero people.
When you're having a group conversation and you want to say something, then the topic completely changes.
when someone says “ten years ago” I think about the 90’s not 2003.
do you ever talk to someone and feel really happy no matter how shit the conversation is
i hate when i cant tell if someone is human or if theyre dancer
Miley you're killing my ears please shut up.
shoutout to the kid that whispers the answer to you when the teacher calls on you but you weren’t paying attention.
where can i get one of those kim kardashian or paris hilton jobs where they just kind of pay you to exist.
Fave this if you have bbm?
tries to spell word
cannot spell word
uses different word
when people talk about their sexual experiences and u are in the corner like pic.twitter.com/C3z0NqpoXd
"Hey remember that time you…"
Yes. I remember every embarrassing thing I have ever done and chances are it keeps me up at night.
november is like the Thursday of the year.
Stuck in Birmingham with @rosiehallsx
Walsall with my girls @_sianbarry @LizziePaddock
why do parents get so upset about little things like omg i left a plate in the sink not a dead body.
my hobbies include laying in bed in my underwear while i listen to music and hate myself
2 years old kid: *runs*
family: looks like he's going to be an athlete
Just because we don't speak any more, doesn't mean i don't think about you.
The sad thing is that i tell 30,000 online stangers my own thoughts than people i've known my whole life.
whats the deal with old grandmas who get offended by the word penis but have like 11 kids
i can hold a wet bar of soap better than a conversation.
basically don’t open up to anyone, ever.
One of the most attractive things about someone is how they smell. If someone smells nice it makes them auto 100 times more attractive.
Getting sick of X Factor now.. Like I don't care if your nans uncles goldfish died just sing the bloody song
If Jeremy Kyle can use a lie detector for cheaters then why can't the police use a lie detector for criminals?
Now i understand why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up.
hate when I feel like I look half decent leaving the house & then run into 8396 pretty girls, 4632 skinny girls, 982 supermodels and Beyonce
Saying to your mate "There's your best friend" when you see someone they hate
arguing with someone on MSN and inviting your mates in for some reinforcement as they had some fucking amazing emoticons
it scares me that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you, and everything that they say could be one massive lie.
its so scary that when you get attached to someone, you kinda base your happiness on how they treat you..
i can remember song lyrics from 2006 but can't remember what I had for dinner yesterday.
Making a joke in front of a ton of people and having them all crack up is one if the most beautiful feelings you’ll ever feel don’t deny it.
i think it's so dumb that most drug dealers get sentenced to longer in prison that rapists, like what the actual fuck.
i get really offended when someone doesn't sit next to me but i'm also relieved they didn't sit next to me
do you ever talk to someone on here and you get along well but then you dont know how to start a conversation again so you never talk again.
Eminem is 41 years old what the fuck.
Start speaking > Get close > Speak 24/7 > This gets less > Someone stops trying > The person you know becomes the person you knew. The end.
when you know something doesnt fit in the fridge but you force the door shut and let it fall out on someone else
I wish i was a sim so i could get fit after one cardio work out
What to say during sex
ooh ahh ahh
walla walla bing bang
When you start liking someone who's in a relationship, oh fuck.
do you ever express feeling and then afterwards you're like wow that was gay as fuck.
I think it’s funny that people who treat you like shit get offended when you finally do the same to them.
urban dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
ghost hunters: can you communicate with us?
ghost hunters: oh so your name is william and you enjoy badminton