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Matt Allard
Lucky to catch up with @jwsii before he heads north to SF tonight. Safe travels, Jay!
Sorry. Is HBO's Girls featurette "Marnie & Desi: Making the Band" a real thing they think people want to watch with their eyes?
Idea: A red-light district for sexy coffee.
Drinks at @ysabelwesthollywood. (Not sure that's Ysabel though.)
Posted a photo on Instagram that was taken outside a museum in France, and a girl commented "house goals."
Once upon a time in France... #priime
Maybe I could just live in this David Hockney painting?
"Restroom mutterings"
Therapist websites are AWFUL. I can't confide if your website has old MS Office clipart. I mean, have your shit more together than me.
Had a flashback of having to fast forward a cassette tape to get to my favorite songs on an album.
These crazy leaves are so green and shiny they reflect the sky. 🌀
Guys, the sensor that flushes the toilet also takes a picture of your penis.
My favorite songs have a beat you could ride a horse to.
I want a helmet with a GoPro mounted on it. You could often see footage of me being very safe in my house for days at a time.
Today I would like an adult beverage.
Cheered on the @LAmarathon runners this morning. 🙌 #lamarathon2015
A ripped, shirtless male model says "You are enough" on Instagram.
Whether at a birthday party, a wedding, or a funeral, my interpretive dance to the "House of Cards" theme song is guaranteed to delight.
Goodbye to all that.
Saturday morning mancakes.
Another sunny day in the Wild West. I hope you are having a good one wherever you are. 😎
I don't like to use Twitter for complaining. It makes me feel like the anger lives on, with more permanence, instead of fading away.
Baby seal on a rainbow wave. ✌️
Are you using @PHHHOTO yet? I just started to play.
Am I just old or is "yeah" and slamming my coffee down in front of me not the right response to "thank you"?
My investigation of "The Jinx" finds it GUILTY OF BEING INCREDIBLY ENTERTAINING:…
Retweeted by Matt Allard
I'm in an In-N-Out parking lot thinking about my body.
This dessert life.
Sometimes I like overhearing conversations and sometimes I wish there was no such thing as other people's tongues.
I'm tired of movie trailers asking me how far I would go. I would go all the damn way, bitch.
Juice and coffee and coffee and juice.
82°F, March 6 (or why we'll often talk about living elsewhere but never truly leave).
Yum yum club. #freerangela
Great @DaveHolmes is great. The latest reason why is worth reading:…
I never know what to do with my face in public.
when you're at the movies and someone has to walk in front of you in the aisle
Retweeted by Matt Allard
Oops I forgot I could just log off.
If you really loved your apartment you'd buy it a car to match. #LAstory
So many things I see online make me upset. It is a lot of work to not be upset every day and to let things go.