FYI: Modern day baby Jesus has a gift registry at Land of Nod.
"Pa rum pum pum pum" makes me think of butts. Little Drummer Boy's biceps tho...
The wind is scraping the trees against the house and it sounds like I'm rocking on a boat.
I didn't take @chrisozer
for a Miley fan, but @Rdio
history doesn't lie. Be you.
All that matters is my dog thinking I'm cool.
Downtown morning. #thistagisfortags
After you #makebiscuits, you get to eat biscuits (with raspberry jam).
The #makebiscuits tag is a lil underwhelming. Come on, guys!
Got to pick up our framed @turnhamator artwork from @hempick yesterday.
I hung a new painting of my bike in the office today. It's so lifelike! #wrdlab
Grilled cheese and tomato soup.
Thank God EXTRA! has collected celebrity reactions to Nelson Mandela's death.
Accidentally bought a chocolate bar that cost $12. I'm sure it's great but I'm not Beyonce enough to be buying $12 chocolate bars.
"During our visit, everyone was white, young and clean-looking (with the exception of the woman with the half-paralyzed face)." Oh, @Yelp
Actors! Did you know you could pick ANY stage name you want!? It's stupid that no one is doing serious work as Fitzgerald Mcgillicutty!
What sound does a pig make? "Oh, hi, my name is Matt."
Don we now our gay apparel to cover up our soft holiday bodies.
Stealing a box of cereal from the supermarket is a crime of passion.
The secret to my success? Why, that's Cinnamon Chex. Just a dry handful in the morning, a couple of bowls in the afternoon, and a dump truck's worth at night gives me the confidence I need to be absolutely ridiculous every day always.
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife (under a pile of blankies because it's winter and cold and brrr)!
If you create an Instagram hashtag that becomes very popular you get to go to heaven, after getting murdered in a place with stunning tones.
House Memo: In case you haven't heard, we will be having quesadillas tonight. Please dress accordingly.
Still pretty into mason jar terrariums, too.
After some time away, I have returned to the loft workspace. It's kind of a blank canvas and I'm not sure how I want to set it up just yet. I know I want it to be different than before. This wall once held my 6 typewriter prints. I think I want to sell them and create some small vignettes or somethi
Wow. RT @kirstinbutler
: All the pools in L.A., mapped ow.ly/28szfh
Last call for Cyber Monday—get 25% off my new book with code INSTA25. bit.ly/16tfAus pic.twitter.com/u3Z2OtBKpC
Folks, You Are The Friction is our new anthology of short fiction and illustration, and it's finally available: singstatistics.com
My new book POPS AND CLICKS is 25% off today at www.PopsAndClicks.com with the code INSTA25. Suggested uses: an enjoyable reading experience, excellent gift, deluxe kindling, fancy doorstop, weapon, etc. #popsandclicks2013
Wondering where Cate Blanchett's character from BLUE JASMINE is tonight.
Snuggling with Ninja. #adognamedninja
That Elf on the Shelf thing strokes your hair while you sleep.
I've never seen any of the Harry Potter films. Decided to start tonight with Sorcerer's Stone.
Great art! RT @turnhamator
: To celebrate Small Business Saturday I'm having a special weekend sale. tmblr.co/ZsrS_x-ttFD7
So guys, I'm a few stories into @lifeserial
's Pops & Clicks and it's fun and quirky and fresh and that's just the way I like it. Read it.
Shout out to Reese's Pieces peanut butter candy in a crunchy shell! You are doing so good.
LA feels like a ghost town today. That's fine, more coffee for me. #coffeeshopvibes
Support indie shops! My book Pops and Clicks is 20% off throughout the weekend—use code ILOVEREADING at checkout. xo bit.ly/16tfAus
These are (were) the test cookies. Ryan Gosling approves. We did it!
Ryan Gosling is helping me make brown butter chocolate chip cookies with smoked sea salt.
If given the chance, my dog would totally be one of Oprah's Favorite Things.
It's been a hard year and I think we're ready to take it out on a plate of food.
I'm worried this is the last time we'll ever be in shape.
There is so much crap on the windshield of my car that it was nice to know you.
My dream job would be for a client to just say, "Do it weird."