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Waiting for trains is aids
After a few drinks i'll talk to anyone
I was going to go to Gnarwolves on December 5th but instead i'm going to Facedown to get fuck faced and to see Roam
If we hate the same people we'll probably be friends
So sick of the sound of people giving up
Amazon have a whole category for sex toys and accessories ahahah wow
Sometimes I think i'm invisible
This is a "I wish my dad would hurry up an die" tweet
My dad is going to shout at me one day and i'm going to just snap and knock him the fuck out
My manager just called me "Lew-arse"
Instead of coming upstairs to actually speak to me, my mother sends me text messages from downstairs so she doesnt have to move from the TV
Don't complain about being single if you do shit like this 🙅
You can hide things and be secretive, but a girl will always find out EVERYTHING
The "I can't think of my own tweets" starter pack
Retweeted by Lew
When I get home I just want to devour everything in sight
That same guy just came over because he thought I was going to drop the bar on my face mid bench press. I wasn't, but what a hero 🙌
Just watched this guy pick his girlfriend up for a hug and spin her round when she came to say hello at the gym. that shit is adorable
All they talk about at tea break is cars, car parts and engines. I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about
Stop fucking romanticising having children when you're still a teenager and should be more focused on your education and career
Spontaneously combusts, Runs away from water.
Retweeted by Lew
@TheStartrPack: The 1975 fan starter pack you used to have a thing for black lipstick lmao
"Are you listening to Oasis?" No mum it's Balance and Composure shut the fuck up.
Being called by the wrong number is strange
Retweeting something because you're secretly trying to send someone a message
I need the Sims 4 editor and I need to use it on my face
My new bed gets delivered next Friday. I've never had a double bed to myself before, i'm so fkin excited
My mum got a £5K refund on PPI from an overdraft 20 years back. lmao no way
It's 11am. I'm cooking bacon and egg and drinking tea whilst pop punk songs play in my house
A 60 something year old woman in The Co-op got the newspaper, tonight's lottery numbers then asked for a large bottle of vodka. What a hero
The co-op doesnt sell sausages. Is that a joke? How can I cook a full english now 😠
If your bio says something like "rapper, entrepreneur and producer" I read it as "bullshitter, compulsive liar and try hard"
I'd like to get really drunk soon
Think about this, somewhere in a group chat there could be a picture of you that everyone is taking the piss out of and you'd never know
Had to force myself not to knock some fucker the fuck out when he made a blatant self harm reference to me over lunch
Apparently I'm a "happy little soul" this morning. ugh 😒
How dare you say you miss me with your spit still on his tongue
When I say lets keep in touch I hope you know I mean I wish that you'd grow up
#WeCanLandOnACometButWeCant listen to fucking music on youtube whilst using other apps
Retweeted by Lew
What is it with teenage girls all wearing the same 2/10 green parkas as their friends?😂
13 year olds asking a 13 year old why she cheated on another 13 year old. What even is that
There's always a drug dealer on my college course
I've been abandoned by my college companions
A woman with a gorgeous Irish accent from the office spoke to me and I nearly passed out 😍
The girl in subway smiled at me AND told me to have a nice day. Excuse me while I melt 😍
It's 7:20 and this woman in town tried giving me a bible and telling me about God. Wow can you not