Want to Grow Your
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Aint got time for those people that are like "yeah we'll meet up" then never bother to message you again hahahah fuck off
The key to my heart (amongst other things)
Life is good
I've seen one too many "maga/marbs with the boys/girls" posts to last a lifetime
So i've cracked my phone's screen, again 😤 can't use it at all now 😓
The same people who listen to trashy consumerist chart music are also super ignorant and uneducated? Ain't that a big fucking surprise
Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift bickering over the VMA nominations is like two billionaires fighting over a bag of soggy ready salted crisps
There's a dude at my work in his 30's who always talks to me about listening to Neck Deep, Trash Boat, Boston Manor etc. What a sick guy
That being said, it's one of my favourite songs on deja entendu
Anyone else notice how me vs maradona vs elvis is just jessie lacey describing how much of a fuckboy he is??
When the rapist tries to play the victim pic.twitter.com/7pOqGyNtct
Is this kid serious? He should be grateful girls even notice him ffs but has the arrogance to boast cheating? Nah😂✋�pic.twitter.com/p6kZo0m25w
you want to sleep with other girls then you shouldnt be with her. Fucking morons like this dont deserve a loyal girl twitter.com/cantbelocal/st…
During my trip to the British museum on Saturday I bought these dudes.
Introducing; Quaximus, Quackahontis and Olaf Quackson. #duckseverywhere #ducksinarow #duckagram #ducksofinstagram #ducksforlife #ducksfordays #ducksquad #duckstagram
Ticklish people are a great source of entertainment
I'VE HAD A WHOLE DRINK THROWN ON ME FUCK I SMELL LIKE JAGER
Jordan came in the garden wearing a bike helmet and somehow it ended in us fighting. And now i'm bleeding. Oh, alcohol
SHE TEXT BACK. ITS NOT A FAKE NUMBER. YAAAAAAAS 🎉🎊
She wants me to take her number. She's ridiculously attractive wtf
Group of pretty girls on the train talking about having low phone batteries, I offer my portable charger and one said she had a crush on me
So that storms mad!! So glad I didn't walk it home got drowned in the short run!! Thanks @LewIsNotAJew
for the lift ☔️⚡️👍
Offered my parents a lift home from the pub during a thunderstorm because I'm basically the best son ever
I don't understand people that feel the constant need to try and impress others. Like are you that insecure?
Instagram why hav u stopped?
Nahhhh Instagram's working pretty well 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
The 'I only smoke at parties' cigarettes. pic.twitter.com/wfvPd6sEE4
My cat is sad because my other cat toked some weed and now claims that he can see the bigger truth behind everything. pic.twitter.com/m2PNBnX8TA
My cat is sad because my other, hippie cat has taken too much LSD and claims to be able to see a giant green wolf. pic.twitter.com/ddnyZEt91w
I say this but i'll probably be going on my own lol
Can we just ban the word "screamo" when describing a song or genre
Cute date idea - watching the new star wars in december
"DROP THE BASS"
*the orchestra member drops his instrument and knocks over all of the other musicians. the concert is ruined*
My 20kg dumbbells have a new 25kg neighbour, and he's massive!😅 #gym #gonutrition #UKbodybuilding #positivity #bodybuilding #dumbbells
The "ronnie radke is my spirit animal" t shirt dude is walking about the gym again today. I wonder if he knows he looks like a twat?
Timehop makes me hate my previous self
everyone forgets how the beckhams started off as level 2 roadmen pic.twitter.com/UETRuUYSY3
"Netflix and chill" aka the biggest lie of 2015
How do decide between netflix and sleeping?
Don't pretend to be an activist to get retweets.
Quote of the day: Jess - geese can't fly. 😂😂😂
Cru sesh (minus dekker, here in spirit ❤️)
I post up pictures of food more than my face because that's more interesting but should follow me on instgram anyway instagram.com/lewisnotajew
I cook the best breakfast