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Tinder is hilarious when you're drunk
Wish I'd voted remain now, seems so indie and cool, a could've had a big meltdown and called people racist n that, gutted
Retweeted by Lew
"Everyone's a politician this morning" says Laura, 17 from Essex who tweets religiously about Love Island and 'that Friday feeling'
Retweeted by Lew
Don't worry, give it a few weeks for this to blow over and you'll all go back to being as unpolitical as you were before
Everyone has gone into absolute meltdown at the referendum results this morning. Surely it's not that bad
Just took 93yr Mum to vote. In a very loud voice she said, "The McCanns killed Maddie" A cheer went up from waiting voters.
Retweeted by Lew
Just took 93yr Mum to vote, she's registered blind lady: "name?" 93yr mum: "A girl has no name" A cheer went up from waiting voters
Retweeted by Lew
holy shit. what a difference two years makes #GloUpChallenge
Retweeted by Lew
holy shit. what a difference two years makes #GloUpChallenge
She hates to work but loves to flirt, it's a shame she don't work with me
During sex, it's perfectly fine to say "yeah", "yes" and "oh yes" but how awkward would it be if someone repeatedly screamed "yep"
Retweeted by Lew
Make sure you all take the time to wish your dad happy father's day on Twitter, even though he doesn't have an account and won't see it πŸ™„
why did every single kid in middle school spread the rumor that marilyn manson removed a bunch of his ribs so he could suck his own dick
Retweeted by Lew
I love when people assume I like football and say things like "that ball from ___ was so good wasnt it" um no. what. what are you on about?
I need a partner in crime
You should add me on snapchat because i'm actually really funny
Me now that I can retweet my own tweets
Retweeted by Lew
If you're still defending US gun laws take a look in the mirror and ASSESS YOURSELF
Retweeted by Lew
when someone hot likes ur tweet & in ur head ur just like
Retweeted by Lew
My booty is clearly a force to be reckoned with
They decided to split up and look for clues
Guys we had a nightmare last night. I decided it was time for a slut drop and my trousers were divided on the idea
I wanna learn how David Cameron answers a question by never actually answering because that would probably come in handy in examsπŸ€”#ITVEUReff
Retweeted by Lew
My favourite quote at the moment is "a wolf doesn't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep"
First date idea - take me to a cat cafe
Commenting "dm me πŸ‘€" is the cyber equivalent of cat calling and let me save you the effort guys, it doesnt work and its fucking sad. Stop it
Nothing says optimism like boys commenting "dm me πŸ˜πŸ‘€" on a girl's instagram selfie πŸ˜‚
Shikari Sound System are fucking insane man πŸ’₯
We also caught @thestorysofarca and they opened with one of my favourite songs
Yesterday was so much fun. We spent the day seeing bands or hanging out as a massive group and having a laugh. Cant wait to do it again!
Bare scene queens everywhere today πŸ˜‚
It's slam dunk today boys. Third year in a row! πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠ
You know you've had too many when you try and start a fight with a mirror
Fixing a laptop today. First time meeting the user, her opening line was "wow how often do you go to the gym? You're very muscly" aw thnkz☺️
When you pull up to your destination but don't get out because a fucking banger comes on shuffle so you stay in the car to listen to it πŸ”₯
They should make an app like tinder but for pets so I can meet with the local cats and dogs as humans arent interested in me
Someone at work jokingly asked if I'd "hold the door" for them. NO. THAT IS NOT FUNNY 😭 right in the feels man �#hodoror
"How do you like your eggs Hodor? Boiled? Scrambled?" "Hodor"
Where the fuck do you justify charging an extra Β£8 when there's no package or postage and the only handling is sending an automated email!
Viagogo is a fucking con. They were selling Moose Blood tickets for Β£25 but charged an extra Β£8 at checkout for P+P/handling for an e-ticket
Why are 16 year olds on tinder? πŸ€”
The internet in a picture
lipstick is sexy but dont wear it to a guys house with intentions to do stuff. not a gr8 look when youre done with us we look like the joker
Polite reminder that if someone wants to talk to you, they will. Don't waste your time worrying about people who don't even notice you.
Retweeted by Lew
When a 10/10 likes your picture and you're thinking what did I do to deserve this πŸ€”
Last week. Couldn't get rid of the caption properly so it looks like i'm wearing an emoji πŸ€”
I feel more emotional attachments to cats than I do to humans, is this normal?
When it gets to around 10pm and you're faced with the difficult decision of either another episode of whatever it is youre watching or sleep
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