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jordyn
Writer mantra: 'I am good at writing, I am good at writing, I am useless at writing and my back hurts and I will die of stress or jealousy'.
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Listening to Thursday on a Wednesday.
Just watched the news. The world is PETRIFYING.
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Oh, you want to take a shower? You can wait your turn. pic.twitter.com/o7Hkfw4eEC
Tumblin’ at 1%. Whatever. 💀pic.twitter.com/QRSfS2QerNN
I was looking through my purse for a hair tie but all I could find was dog treats.
For the record, I think I've been able to play it cool for approximately three seconds of my entire life.
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Much love to all for your kind comments. 9 years cancer free and the anniversary of transit. Honored this day means so much to my fans!
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I think I’ve typed tswift enough while texting to not be autocorrected anymore.
I just sliced through my thumbnail so I’m really glad I washed my hair last night.
The best coffee shop music involves @andrewmcmahon forever and ever. pic.twitter.com/V0GIUt1xhy
Attention all raspberry fans: 99cents at Kroger. 😍
I can’t stop thinking about avocado pizza.
Every person driving through Benbrook on 377: “Why are there multiples of everything?!”
New birthday boots! 🎉
I apparently Googled "is there such a thing as moon-dried tomatoes?" at 2:30 a.m. last night.
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Air drums are so much better than air guitar.
This ship of fools I’m on will sink.
hmm, is there any left in here? pic.twitter.com/82ri1uB9v2
Kangaroos are really T-rex versions of deer.
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Fox News would be so much better if it was for actual foxes.
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Keith Richards looked 70 when he was 40 and now that he's 70 he looks 69. He's regenerating.
So… That’s how today is going to go, I guess. 😒
Gotta keep those paws cool when you’re sunbathing. 💁pic.twitter.com/Pki3i1Df7XX
Saw someone reversing on the on-ramp to the highway today.
Can’t wait to see the 500 fireworks photos I’ll see on Instagram tonight.
Sing a song about the heartland.
Throwback to last week when a woman—not her boss—made her own decisions about her health care. #TBT pic.twitter.com/xmQ5e7DFmW
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I miss the old Blue Bell jingle. #haveyourselfabluebellcountryday
Hopefully he sees your sign and saves you from the accident I’m sure you may cause as you continue to swerve in and out of lanes.
To the lady driving downtown while blaring her horn and holding a ❤️JESUS SAVES ❤️ sign out the window: that doesn’t look safe.
BEAUTY TIP: Read a book. EMPATHY TIP: Read a book. EDUCATION TIP: Read a book. ENTERTAINMENT TIP: Read a book. LOVE TIP: Read a book.
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