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Ugh. I am stressed for no reason. Or all the reasons. I am going to run until I can't run no more.
Retweeted by jordyn
Let me keep that fresh laundry warm for you.
This Chrome extension changes @realDonaldTrump into He-who-must-not-be-named:
Retweeted by jordyn
Dismiss whatever insults your own soul.
Song was great. Real stoked for the record. She brings it. @Adele
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If You Type Like This I Am Going To Assume You're Just Testing Out Titles For Your Next Book Or Have Joined @PanicAtTheDisco.
Retweeted by jordyn
THE 5 STAGES OF WRITING: 1. This is genius. 2. This isn't working. 3. This is useless. 4. Really useless. 5. But this toast is nice.
Retweeted by jordyn
i hate when adults make fun of u and ask if u bought ur jeans with all the holes in them…. why don’t u go fix the holes in our economy john
Retweeted by jordyn
Enjoying the break from August heat.
Anxiety: making it impossible to tell the difference between a minor problem and a catastrophe since the development of the frontal lobe!
Retweeted by jordyn
Dog days of summer ☀️
Congrats to Oregon on passing two years of free community college! Every hardworking student deserves access to higher education.
Retweeted by jordyn
Something wicked this way wobbles.
Breaking a toe is the perfect excuse to buy a pimp cane.
Shout-out to all those working today in the service industry!
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Be nice. Be kind. Be gentle. Or, as ET put it, be good.
Retweeted by jordyn
Obviously someone devoid of any joy in their life.
S’mores Oreos should’ve been called S’moreos. Or S’mOreos. Who’s the bad guy in their marketing team that shut that down?
Here is where gay marriage is now legal. About time.
Retweeted by jordyn
So much of journalism now is just bad college essays.
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“Don’t fucking flavor profile me, Bro.” -@JaceCarlysle
Monday is for taking flowers home from work.
Way to be consistently perfect, @copelandband.
Today is the day! The official video for "I Can Make You Feel Young Again" directed by @caleglendening...…
Retweeted by jordyn
Dreams DO come true.
Same sex marriage isn't gay privilege. It's equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying tax. Like churches don't.
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Lazy yawns. ☝🏼️
Florals for spring. Groundbreaking.
.@AaronMarshMusic You'd break your neck to
Apple: Now we make stupid watches you can't afford.
Retweeted by jordyn
Every novel is a failure. Which is why we keep needing more novels.
Retweeted by jordyn
I don't want to say that buying #ixora for your valentine will definitely get you laid... but it will ABSOLUTELY get you laid!
Retweeted by jordyn
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