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Benjvmin Chvse
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Parents man... They put us in the most awkward positions imaginable. I can't wait to be a dad, my son will never get a break lol
Facebook is full of porn and weird videos. I need delete sooo many people. I can't stand seeing that crap in my newsfeed dude..
Every day, I look at that pill bottle and think about going back to the old me.. Then I hit the gym and get high on blood sweat and tears.
If things don't add up, subtract yourself.
My fallback game is so potent, I have girls asking their friends when my funeral is.
Some dude starts grilling me because he caught his girl checking me out. Don't get mad kiddo. Get like me and dress better.
A real woman can do it all by herself, but a real man won't let her.
Why are the biscuits at red lobster the best thing on the menu? I just go for the biscuits and leave when they ask me to order real food.
I hate when I go to restaurants and they make some shit that I could have made at home. Like I could have made 9 of those for the same price
Only 10% of my shower time consists of washing. The other 90% is for dancing and singing 󾍇
I need a woman to pray with not lay with. Many women will say they love God yet, they are eager to take you to bed
Only my JC heads know what I'm talking about; Remember when "don't let the bed bugs bite" was to be taken literally? 󾌲 lawd
"Getting drunk is an advance on tomorrow's happiness" -Alex M. Philip Green room wisdom 󾮟
During the day all I want to do I go to bed but when I finally get back home going to sleep is the last thing I want to do.
Is last night's pleasure worth this morning's pain?
Where are all the good girls hiding? I feel like they're wearing camouflage or walking around in stealth mode...
Sometimes you have to give up who you want, to be with who you need.
I pray God will strip me of my ego. An inflated sense of self leads to destruction.
I need to feel my soul come alive. I need that little hope I can find. I need a little faith. Is that too much to ask for?
As soon as I turned 21 I started getting hit on by older women lol. It's like they all have a barely legal radar.
I don't think males can be "just friends" with females. I just don't see it. Thoughts?
Side chicks are more faithful than the main girls these days! Shout out to you girls who refuse to cheat on another woman's man
Met this little guy on the sidewalk today. Who can name the spider?
A wise woman knows the importance of speaking life into her man. If you love him; believe in him, encourage him and be his peace.
Who on my friends list is from Cali? I'm in Oakland is anyone doing a show this weekend? I'm looking for something to get into. #Oww!
Girls are still dressing up as sluts for halloween... Oh wait, that's not a costume..
When you love what you do, every day feels like a vacation
Last night though 󾌴󾌴󾌺󾌴󾌺󾌴 I haven't laughed that hard in the longest
People think if they shop at whole foods they can walk on water or something... I can't stand the Starbucks generation.
If you're a man, every day is leg day... And I don't even use weights yet. #workoutflow
When your mind won't let your heart love anymore.
She thinks it's lovely how witty I am I can wit her out her lovelies, have her clit in my hands.
The pigs hate the people, how much more can I stand? Sorry rabbi, I'm eating all the ham I can.
Don't become who hurt you.
The govt needs to quit playing around with this Ebola crisis and make a vaccine for that thot virus already. It's highly infectious.
There are so many gay people in America that Aretha Franklin's I'm coming out has been nominated for the new American anthem. #Bruh
Is what you live for worth dying for?
There will always be those assholes who push your buttons. They're just ignorant and beneath you. Try not to hate them, only pray for them.
We were all humans until race disconnected us, religion separated us, politics divided us and wealth classified us.
A hoe makes a man come. A "bad bitch" makes a man come out of his pockets. A real woman makes a man come home
If it comes from a plant, eat it. If it was MADE in a plant, don't.
If I formulate a viewpoint that "swag fags" and "hipsters" continuously agree with I immediately rethink my point of view on the matter.
I think it's time I settle down. I'm going to stop chasing "the one" and let it just happen.
Oh my goodness I hate shopping with girls!!! They take FOREVER to try stuff on. It's been like half an hour for three outfits!
When I'm done with my therapist, my therapist will need to see a therapist.
I had a rough morning. Someone should hmu and make me laugh
Mirrors look so seductive these days. I think I've been turning gay for myself recently.
If it's not grass fed, I don't eat it.
Trust... Who can I...
This weekend was real. Stayed up for three days. What a ride. The city never sleeps why should I.