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julio castellanos
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Feeling low? Blame Newton. We’d all be having more fun if he’d discovered the law of levity.
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Yeah I say school starts way too early but then I come home and fuck around with my cellphone till two in the morning. #hypocrisy
Does anybody use facebook anymore?
Andy Warhol is overrated
The fact the centuries don't match up with the first two digits of the year is one of the greatest injustices of this troubled world.
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Maybe it's time to stop working out when we can see all of your veins. Leave something to the imagination.
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"Yeah you can learn a new language but you can also just speak english loud and slow and people will understand ya know" - tourist
My math homework is harder to understand than the new realease of the michael jackson album.
I hate you more than that woman that says that my call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.
Cavemen had it easy when you liked a female you hit her on the head with a rock and took her to your cave No dating No ice cream No bullshit
Yeah yeah thanks for your stupid party invite *shoves you away* where's your pet
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I feel like if you complain all the time that music isn't good anymore, you just aren't looking hard enough
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You are at constant risk of someone clicking '2009' on your Facebook timeline and finding out what a loser you used to be.
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Nothing says self-entitled as much as a kid trying to shush students in class.
'Bob died!' 'Oh God! Really? How old was he?' 'Bixty meven' 'Christ, that's no age is it.'
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Not sure if she is staring at me because she likes me or she is staring at me because im staring at her staring at me.
everything really is bigger in Texas (including the other states hatred of us) pic.twitter.com/uzGFEIgE3c
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Just heard Scientologists aren't even fully-qualified scientists and now I don't know what to believe.
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Beautiful work by Fintan Magee in Sydney 😍pic.twitter.com/mQdAc2jV4OO
Possibly the whitest-looking black person ever 😂�pic.twitter.com/nBs9yGK85252
When the teacher assigns homework at the last minute... pic.twitter.com/xNu8HiKSVX
a bittersweet feeling of not being able to sleep because you cant stop thinking about someone..
"Let me see how hurtful I can be in a single note" - my english teacher pic.twitter.com/9YCzCt5ixT
Cocaine so white it has a bible verse in it's bio
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I was blessed as a child, but only when I sneezed.
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Can we just fucking agree on a universal handshake to avoid confusion like the good old days??
Sometimes I feel like I fake every emotion.
Alienating mentally challenged kids to their own classroom will never help them integrate society. People will not learn to understand them.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, it is that someone we don't know that well but well enough to talk to will get on our train.
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Greed and hubris drove the Titanic into an iceberg 102 years ago. That couldn’t happen now: we’re cleverly destroying all the icebergs.
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Why doesn't Germany just call their currency Ger-money?
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If you ever feel bad about yourself just remember that men can and have gotten breast cancer. #breastcancerawareness
My space key on my keyboard is stuck, call that a space-jam #RapLikeLilWayne
Or maybe you get in those difficulties cuz you're dumb enough to compare life with an arrow? RT:“@Inspiringlmages pic.twitter.com/7wGzBlj6HU
The average Brit loses their virginity at age 16. This is the first time I've ever been above average.
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About thirty minutes of rearranging words to tweet that last tweet pic.twitter.com/bwQpgzAcku
So last year I had to type a double spaced essay for the first time so I pressed the space bar twice in between each word. #miscommunication
Put two plates at the same time in the microwave call that time-sharing. #RapLikeLilWayne
Is the bermuda triangle real? Are we alone in the universe? Is this 🙏 a man praying or two men high-fiving? The world may never know...
My last words will definitely be "Stay golden, Ponyboy"
Were all searching for someone whose demons play well with ours.
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Next time I get caught saying something stupid I'll just say it was sarcasm. I should be a lawyer.