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Jules Corriere
Accidentally dialed 911 last night. I set my house on fire so I wouldn't look stupid.
Retweeted by Jules Corriere
It's the weekend, so I'm going to get a ton of stuff done. Just kidding. I'm going to drink and take a nap.
Retweeted by Jules Corriere
That's a nice hashtag you got there. It's be a shame if someone were to use it *drags cigarette* ironically
Retweeted by Jules Corriere
Family Planning: 1. Let someone else have children. 2. Sleep late. 3. Retire early. You're welcome.
Retweeted by Jules Corriere