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Josh Monje

All I did was go to target and I literally feel like I got beat up
My mom is messed lol
I really just had to think really hard to remember what month it was lol
me: [flashlight under chin] they say a witch cursed this house 100 years ago today! [100 years ago] witch: fuck this house
Retweeted by Josh Monje
Avocado toast really does things for me 🥑
Meet Joe Black is my all time favorite movie
"Do you have children together?" - "No... we had chihuahuas together"
I'm trying to be Martha Stewart in the kitchen but I'm a little barred out. Idk how this is gonna turn outs hahaha
So stoned at forever 21 and the music is kinda giving me life
Should I make this my avi?
I still stalk @dayummjazy even when she's 7 thousand miles away
I think my mom is like really into the instagram slideshow update hahaha
I am a 4loko ambassador. This is slander. twitter.com/dayummjazy/sta…
Literally ordered 6 carafes of mimosas and having drunk convos with my mom hahahaha I can't
What's the point of liquor stores not staying open til at least 2?
Yes white people, fight each other yes!
Retweeted by Josh Monje
"...'We also apologize for putting Kendall Jenner in this position.' Now read that back to me."
Retweeted by Josh Monje
If I facetime you or talk on the phone with you, feel special because I hate it
Retweeted by Josh Monje
me: ugh hipster foodie clickbait. me: jesus christ this is erotic twitter.com/TheDIYideas/st…
Retweeted by Josh Monje
Oh, great. Here's PK to save the day 🙄#RHOBHHJ
Retweeted by Josh Monje
i wish i was 50 piña coladas deep in Hawaii rn
Retweeted by Josh Monje
I've watched this 23 times now and I'm not stopping no time soon.
Retweeted by Josh Monje
Season 2 of big little lies needs to happen. That finale was nuts
HBO just did more in seven episodes than some shows do in seven seasons #BigLittleLies
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If you watch big little lies you'll know why I'm pissed
candles are crazy man because u go ur whole childhood/teens w/out needing them around & somethin happens in ur 20's & u need them everywhere
Retweeted by Josh Monje
"they're pretty religious so try to behave yourself please" me:
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“Hermione is also, uh, actually Cher’s first cousin"
Retweeted by Josh Monje
If my mom ever steps foot inside a Chicos we're going to have an intervention
I swear @tiffydreww and I are not normal hahah
People who drink whole milk don't love themselves
Retweeted by Josh Monje
I wanna have a reading with the Long Island medium
Sweetie you are a first season Real Housewife making stuff up to stay on the show. twitter.com/realdonaldtrum…
Retweeted by Josh Monje
I've also compared weight loss ice cream (aka water) to Hägen Dazs so idk
Can't tell if I'm too stoned or these cherry frosting cupcakes are bomb.. not usually a fan of cherry
Moonlight was such a beautiful, yet harrowing and raw film. Wanted more from the ending but 10/10 ✨
Wow I can't believe I'm gonna die and I haven't even sucked daddy Yankees dick yet
Retweeted by Josh Monje
Kiis fm is poppin off rn 🔊
 
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