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John Mayer
The weekend nano-tour ends in Chicago, a place where the fans feel more like friends. Always have, always will. (Via @nightengale68)
  7h
After this many years I should stop being surprised, but Atlanta, you filled my heart tonight. As always. See you again soon.
Pre-show jam. Heading to the stage... See you in a few minutes Atlanta. #musicmidtown
I bet right about now Bruno Mars is off somewhere coming up with something awesome.
#tbt 2000, posing with a fan. (Joke's still got legs.)
I’m having a party on Friday night. I’ll send you a YO! with all the information.
Guitars are machines too
Waking up and checking the news then: “I wonder what’s going on in the world.” Now: “I wonder what the world thinks about what’s going on.”
“These rice cakes don’t have enough glue!”
Now don’t get too upset. “Faith” is omnidirectional and unchallengeable. You can have faith that something will become your fate.
By definition, the word “prophetic” can only be used in the past tense. Same is true for “fate.”
You see pool codes are on cartridges.
“Tedvis and I are the best of friends. I mean, we have each other’s pools stored in one of the six RAM chip slots of our pool remotes.”
Tell you what, I’m gonna get one of those universal pool remotes where you can program up to six other pools in it. Cause then, easy.
“Why does your pool have a remote, you too lazy to dive in and turn the lights on?” My crazy uncle Heee
I am very down to earth. Just carbonate the pool.
Modern technology hasn’t been very “play my demo” friendly as of late.
How can I best label the sound of this new grip of songs? I guess I would have to say “ancient Japanese R&B.“
There is no minimalist doodling, is what I'm saying.
You're not supposed to leave a good doodle alone. You must keep doodling until every face is wearing sunglasses.
For that reason, I'm IN. (Let's not ruin this with words.)
Jerky is good for you now.
Up up down down left right left right B A B A select start
Remember this: Even Keith Richards slept and Bob Dylan said yes sometimes. The subtlety gets lost in the retelling.
“The agreement was tacit: he would avail himself to all manners of destruction, and in exchange, he would find a way to make it rhyme.”
“He lived in a quiet part of the noisy part of the city, in a house that looked like a giant Nespresso machine.“
A good song idea has you singing the title before you even pick up the guitar.
We’ll save that one as a draft.
Don’t ever google the word “love” with safesearch off. The results are disgusting.
I really wish it was still the era of rolling into places and sitting in with bands all night. Wanna keep playing.
#MIAFestival you were a great crowd. I’ll be taking your energy back in the studio with me. That was a blast. Needed that. ✌️
Whoa. Did you know it’s “proof is in the putting” not “pudding?” Mind blown.
So ready to play
Bingo “@mallory_spry: I don’t think you can truly appreciate @JohnMayer’s album Paradise Valley until you listen to it on a road trip.”
That reminds me to listen to more Charlie Parker.
This happens to me coming back to my hotel room: what if this isn’t my room? (Insert key, door opens) what if that isn’t my stuff?
You could break @edsheeran’s talent into about six equal pieces and *still* have six very talented and successful artists.
I’d like to sit and talk to someone for about an hour about how great @edsheeran was tonight. Hypertalent.
I can’t tell you how good it feels to hit those notes. Especially on new songs. I’m free again. So grateful.
It’s 2 years to the day that I had my vocal cords paralyzed so they could heal. It took about as long to get all of my voice back.
Forget bass and treble. I’m all about the LYRICS.
So would thigh-gap be “treble” then?
I hope one day to become a master of marital arts.
Diuretics: the drink that drinks you.