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John Mayer
Not a bad way to sing vocals...
  5h
Tweeting makes me feel weird. I’m doing my best to keep it up though.
Useless things I said to my dog today: “be careful!” and “in ten minutes!!”
I’ll send you some pics from the studio this week. We’ll catch up.
No band. No manager. Rebooting so hard. 37: old enough to have figured it out, young enough to still get it done.
Don’t say add water, don’t say add water, don’t say add water, don’t saAAAALRIGHT COFFEE. (Screw the next guy.)
If you wanna get jumped by a bunch of strangers, just walk down the street and yell “I GOTTA SAY 2014 HAS BEEN A SPECTACULAR YEAR FOR ME!”
My dog’s looking at me like there’s something we forgot to do today. No bud that’s it you’re a dog checklist complete.
I bought an iPhone app that simulates owning a horse. It promised the most lifelike horse of all the apps and hey only the best for this guy
Thanks everyone for the birthday love. Spent the night with friends singing Sinatra and jamming Hendrix. #happybirthdaytoyoutoo
Thanks to everyone sending the birthday love groove today! It’s been awesome. Writing myself a song today that’s just for me. A ditty. XO
I love Fender guitars and will continue to play them, but the fact is that the company as it is today isn’t the same one I started with.
Heads up to anyone thinking about owning my signature @Fender Stratocaster, they’re no longer being made and I’m no longer a Fender artist.
Sometimes I stare at the reflection of the room I’m in on the glass overlooking the night sky, and pretend a chandelier hovers over LA.
In a different kind of studio with @ironeyeretna getting inspired.
"Estimated Prophet" workout... Stabs and single note lines combined.
Little trick I came up with to play snare in time. Guitar player feel, but on drums.
Is this stat real? Can someone confirm? “@seli: The average person gets rid of approximately 3.6 Banksys a month alone. Smh.”
Almond milk box: not a Banksy. Blueberry container: negative for Banksy-like traits. No discernible social commentary therein. So far day OK
Woke up last night paralyzed with a fear, consumed by the question: how many Banksys have I accidentally thrown away?
September NYC light cast. You don't need to see out the window to know what it looked like.
Friend of the Devil for pre-going-out piano.
An indicator cap on deodorant that tells you if you already put it or not.
One last thing. Japanese are the only way to get my hair and makeup for the rest of the year.
Sandals with my friends and family members to the point of having to pay for it.
You awake? I’m to get my nails done tomorrow.
Time traveling with him to the gym today, I don’t know why but it was the first place for me to be able to see you.
Grapefruit juice is not the best way to get my money back to sleep.
Dinosaurs are the same thing as too many people in this country.
iOS8 predictive text poetry : pick one or two words to start with and then choose from the three available options for each next word.
#tbt 1995... My local newspaper interviewing recent HS graduates. Keep in mind, fellow dreamers, this ran in the "and some kids don't have any plans at all" slot.
Friend of the Devil (2)
Friend of the Devil (1)
"Is there a way to make it play itself?" "Yes, number of players: zero."
This should handily settle the long standing debate: who owns the baddest music box in the country?
Sorry, who is this? This is a new toilet. Dropped my phone on it last night.
The weekend nano-tour ends in Chicago, a place where the fans feel more like friends. Always have, always will. (Via @nightengale68)
After this many years I should stop being surprised, but Atlanta, you filled my heart tonight. As always. See you again soon.
Pre-show jam. Heading to the stage... See you in a few minutes Atlanta. #musicmidtown
I bet right about now Bruno Mars is off somewhere coming up with something awesome.
#tbt 2000, posing with a fan. (Joke's still got legs.)
I’m having a party on Friday night. I’ll send you a YO! with all the information.
Guitars are machines too