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Joan Rivers
comedian comedy 2,065,130 followers
Check out my @QVC Lunchtime Special today!
.@godslovenyc is having a #birthdaybakesale to celebrate their 29 years! Sponsor a cake for a God’s Love client:
Saw "Bullets Over Broadway" on Sunday. Here I am with one of the show's many talented performers...Trixie!
Selena Gomez unexpectedly FIRED her parents. I’m sure it is just a coincidence but Melissa just hired her lawyers.
Off to do the @TODAYshow with @MelRivers! Tune in at 9am to hear all about this week's episode of #JKB (Saturday, 10/9c on @WEtv)
A full hour of my jewelry is on @QVC at 5pm today! Loads of NEW styles, and THE statement necklace of the season!
Even I can follow @DrOz’s recipe for gin-soaked raisins. Fingers crossed this helps with the arthritis in my knee.
Did you watch the @DrOz Show on Friday? I’m stocked up on raisins and gin to help make my knee feel better!
Miley cancelled shows due to a "severe allergic reaction to antibiotics". Hmmm. Why that girl would be on penicillin, I just can't imagine..
Reminder: ALL JEWLERY HOUR tomorrow at 5pm on @QVC!!
Kirstie Alley has returned to Jenny Craig. She wants to lose 30 pounds, or roughly one Olsen Twin.
So what! I texted under the influence and it has happened before. During the Bicentennial, I drunk-dialed half the US Navy. #JKB
Melissa is right. I need to “let go” of my priceless Queen Victoria chair. Tony just made it easier by calling it his “Joan Throne.” #JKB
Melissa gave me that sleeping pill in CT. She’s a one-woman drug operation – the infamous Rivers Cartel. #JKB
Tony’s new house is so gay, there’s a portrait of Liza hanging in the bathroom. #JKB
The way Melissa is confronting Cooper’s lacrosse coach, she can take on anyone. The Ukraine? Send Melissa to talk to Putin. #JKB
I adore Tony but I never would have parted with my Queen Victoria chair. Someone has to get it back for me… #JKB
Why won’t Melissa heed my advice? She’s such a prude. Wanna get a man’s attention? GET NAKED! #JKB
I love it when Cooper gives it his all in lacrosse. I love him even more after he takes a shower. #JKB
The night before I leave CT, I need to sleep. Sunny Von Bulow took a Xanax and slept 28 years. I’ll take a half and maybe doze an hour. #JKB
The KKK has a better thread count in their sheets than the ones in Melissa’s guest room. #JKB