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Jimmy Carr
comedian comedy acting 3,836,770 followers
My DVD 'Telling Jokes' is on Channel 4 tonight at 11pm if you fancy watching.
It's Stephen's last day & he's got a last wish to raise £1 million for TCT. Text STEPHEN TO 70500 to donate £5 or to…
Fun night in Cape Town, heading off to Durban for tonight's show. Thanks to Victor for the SA Tour shirt he made me.
I had such fun playing Carnival City in J'berg I headed straight over to @davidkau1 's #blacksonly show to do a late night set. SA Rules
Excited to be in SA next week! #GaggingOrder at Joberg 29th Cape Town 30th & Durban 31st March Plus! #RoastZA w @Kenny_T_Kunene - 28th April
If you live near Oxford & you're free next Monday 24th/Tuesday 25th we've got two charity shows, details here; 
My DVD 'Making People Laugh' is on Channel 4 tonight at 10.45pm.
Don't miss the new 8 Out of 10 Cats tonight at 10 on C4
Tour in SA in March rounding off by roasting @Kenny_T_Kunene a sushi entrepreneur turned politician for @ComedyCentralAF. Funny old world.
New South African tour date on sale now! Durban 31st March…
Edinburgh! My Fringe shows are on sale now! Tickets here:… #funnybusiness… I'm doing a little show with Alan Davis tomorrow night. If you're free come on down.
RT @CharRidgwell: Best part of my DVD collection. @jimmycarr always cheers me up! - I cannot thank you enough.
RT @jimjefferies: I look like fat Brandon Flowers or Dan aykroyd in trading places when he is dressed as drunk santa. #followjim
RT @GeorgeRobboEFC: @jimmycarr got his sister a Hulk fist for Christmas. 😜
Iceland is advertising a frozen Eton mess. I don’t think they need the word Eton in there.
You can now get slippers that you can put in the microwave. I think my aunty invented those when she was having a breakdown.
The world’s largest rose wine bottle containing 30 litres has been created. And just in time for the Loose Women’s Christmas party.
A beautiful cross-eyed girl is taking the modelling world by storm. I’m not sure who’s she’s modelling for, I think it’s Hugo Boss-eyed.
Apparently today is the 1st day of winter. What? We haven’t had any winter yet? You have got to be kidding me.
A company has made a full English breakfast into a drink. What for? The busy city builder on the go?
New Funny Business tour date in Brighton on sale now:
It’s now been scientifically proven the cleverer you are the more likely you are to be a drinker. Merry Christmas. You are welcome.
Scientists say James Bond drank so much booze that he would have been rubbish in bed. So it turns out I AM like James Bond after all. Result
Derek will probably try to say there were dark forces at work. Yeah either that or you didn’t have your lights on.