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Jim Gaffigan
Thanks everyone who came to @oddball at Shoreline Amphitheater.
@sarahkatesilverman at @oddball
. @SarahKSilverman and brodyismefriend at oddball @ Shoreline Amphitheatre At Mountain View
Bye Vancouver #InnerChildSelfie
Sweet dreams. #selfie #nofilter
Beautiful Vancouver, where should I eat after my Orpheum show?
Thao Nguyen, Reggie Watts, Jim Gaffigan, and host John Moe. Great show! #wits #pdx @ Aladdin Theater (photo courtesy @mandy_woodford )
Shoot. This theater doesn't have preferred type of iron.
Working with the brilliant @reggiewatts and the @wits folk tonight.
Voodoo Donuts/ Portland / Diabetes, here I come! @wits with @reggiewatts & @johnmoe tonight at the Aladdin Theater
Sydney, Australia - I'm doing 3 shows at the Opera House in October
I’m the only one on the internet that really cares about you.
California - I’m performing at the @oddball shows this W/E & 800 other shows in ur state this fall. Just click here
I’m pretty sure I won Fashion Week.
Most people at fashion parties seem like characters from a John Hughes film.
Not getting French fries with a burger should count as eating a salad, right?
You look good. Have you lost weight?
"How was your summer?" is the "Happy Holidays" of September. #insincerity
Press here for bad breath.
RT @BeatRouteBC .@JimGaffigan: I was talking with a ghost. Performing Sept. 11 at the Orpheum. By @MayaRoisin. THAN…
The fact that it is considered cool to wear dark socks with athletic shoes & shorts proves we are months away from the Nerd Apocalypse.
BREAKING: Scientist discover those ugly running shoes with toes that look like human feet are the cause of Ebola.
My 8 year old son to a friend at school drop off this morning -"My Dad looks horrible without a beard!"
I have roughly an hour to finish everything I need done for the next 5 months. @nfl #NFLsunday
Heavy discussion about my jeans occurring on Instagram. (FYI - there are NOT skinny jeans)
Little kids may wake up too early but at least my five-year-old daughter calls the airport the airplane store.
I wonder if there are any good looking people on that show "Pretty Little Liars."
@Theispot: ELLEN BYRNE: JIM GAFFIGAN FOOD MAP #illustration @ellenbyrne #gaffiganfood" Thanis Ellen!
Thanks "RT: @dan_dion Portrait of @JimGaffigan shot backstage at the @Just_For_Laughs Gala. #DanDionPhotography"
I can’t wait till Apple introduces an iPhone with a real battery.
Me dropping my 10 yr off at her first day of school. Me: Have fun. Her: Bye. Where are you going? Me: Back to sleep.
My 2 year old son is singing that "I'm so fancy" song. Anyone want him?
Interesting Fact: When you break your leg in Wisconsin they give you a cast made of cheese.
@JimGaffigan What's your favorite type of produce? I'll go to the store now so it rots in time for the show. Thanks.
Retweeted by Jim Gaffigan
Wisconsin I'll see you in December. All tour dates at
I'm not the first person to be evacuated by stretcher via helicopter from Wisconsin in a cheese coma, right?
Thanks whoever did this. Pic @ivan_agafoshin
Here is my impression of me talking to one of my kids. -"Ask your Mom."
Vote for the brilliant @WendyLiebman 8666024807 #AGT