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Jim Gaffigan
Thanks everyone who came to @oddball at Shoreline Amphitheater.
@sarahkatesilverman at @oddball
. @SarahKSilverman and brodyismefriend at oddball @ Shoreline Amphitheatre At Mountain View instagram.com/p/s30jmQQ_-x/
Bye Vancouver #InnerChildSelfie
Sweet dreams. #selfie #nofilter
Beautiful Vancouver, where should I eat after my Orpheum show?
Thao Nguyen, Reggie Watts, Jim Gaffigan, and host John Moe. Great show! #wits #pdx @ Aladdin Theater (photo courtesy @mandy_woodford )
Shoot. This theater doesn't have preferred type of iron.
Working with the brilliant @reggiewatts and the @wits folk tonight.
Voodoo Donuts/ Portland / Diabetes, here I come! @wits with @reggiewatts & @johnmoe tonight at the Aladdin Theater
Sydney, Australia - I'm doing 3 shows at the Opera House in October jimgaffigan.com/tour-dates
I’m the only one on the internet that really cares about you.
California - I’m performing at the @oddball shows this W/E & 800 other shows in ur state this fall. Just click here jimgaffigan.com
I’m pretty sure I won Fashion Week.
Most people at fashion parties seem like characters from a John Hughes film.
Not getting French fries with a burger should count as eating a salad, right?
You look good. Have you lost weight?
"How was your summer?" is the "Happy Holidays" of September. #insincerity
Press here for bad breath.
RT @BeatRouteBC .@JimGaffigan: I was talking with a ghost. Performing Sept. 11 at the Orpheum. By @MayaRoisin. THAN… whosay.com/l/ipc9bLW
The fact that it is considered cool to wear dark socks with athletic shoes & shorts proves we are months away from the Nerd Apocalypse.
BREAKING: Scientist discover those ugly running shoes with toes that look like human feet are the cause of Ebola.
My 8 year old son to a friend at school drop off this morning -"My Dad looks horrible without a beard!"
I have roughly an hour to finish everything I need done for the next 5 months. @nfl #NFLsunday
Heavy discussion about my jeans occurring on Instagram. (FYI - there are NOT skinny jeans) pic.twitter.com/5091TC0TGu
Little kids may wake up too early but at least my five-year-old daughter calls the airport the airplane store.
I wonder if there are any good looking people on that show "Pretty Little Liars."
@Theispot: ELLEN BYRNE: JIM GAFFIGAN FOOD MAP #illustration @ellenbyrne #gaffiganfood" Thanis Ellen! t.co/Cm6lKb74Qu
Thanks "RT: @dan_dion Portrait of @JimGaffigan shot backstage at the @Just_For_Laughs Gala. #DanDionPhotography"
I can’t wait till Apple introduces an iPhone with a real battery.
Me dropping my 10 yr off at her first day of school. Me: Have fun. Her: Bye. Where are you going? Me: Back to sleep.
My 2 year old son is singing that "I'm so fancy" song. Anyone want him?
Interesting Fact: When you break your leg in Wisconsin they give you a cast made of cheese.
@JimGaffigan What's your favorite type of produce? I'll go to the store now so it rots in time for the show. Thanks. pic.twitter.com/E9lLzW20Cs
Retweeted by Jim Gaffigan
Palm Springs show added + SLC, CHI, ATL, VANCOUVER, DALLAS, AUSTIN, BOS, ORL, WINNiPEG, PALA, SYDNEY (AUS) jimgaffigan.com/tour-dates
Wisconsin I'll see you in December. All tour dates at jimgaffigan.com
I'm not the first person to be evacuated by stretcher via helicopter from Wisconsin in a cheese coma, right?
Thanks whoever did this. Pic @ivan_agafoshin instagram.com/p/sdlxLTw_6L/
Here is my impression of me talking to one of my kids. -"Ask your Mom."
Vote for the brilliant @WendyLiebman 8666024807 #AGT