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ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
@JGFMercedes i cant get over how jealous of u i am right now. Tell @mattgoss to follow me too ;) lol
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
I think I speak for everyone when I say, "shouldn't be allowed a phone when drunk."
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
BIG SHOUTOUT to new follower @mattgoss thank you brother 'I owe you nothing'
Don't tell me I look tired unless you're offering to carry me
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
Just heard a woman say "When in doubt, get a pizza", I don't know who this woman is but she's my new life coach
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
They show disney films in the cinema!!!! What why am I only now hearing this.... I love disney!!! 👸
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
M25 motorway: Only ever one moron away from thousands having bad days!
all these girls thinking they are makeup artists, spending loads on mac and shit and can't grasp that orange body and white face don't go
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
Shine. Fucking shine. Its your turn. You deserve it.
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
I wish I can run away just as often as my mind does.
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
Why is it shortly after starting a new job you start to feel poorly and can't handle it!!
The difference between I don't know and I don't care is an argument waiting to happen..
Always swallow before sneezing to limit the potential of airborne snot!
When I see the matrix sign beside the road with the message 'There is no excuse for speeding' I immediately start to brainstorm good excuses
Not ashamed to say the Pride of Britain awards are making me emotional
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
*Winter* Couples: We are going to cuddle and snuggle like there is no tomorrow. Me: *stares at pillow* You love me right?
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
You're posting pictures of your tits and tweeting that all men are players. - followed.
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously, You can't eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
An impressionable mind is a vulnerable mind, we shouldn't never take the responsibility of imparting wisdom lightly.
Once you've lost all communication and trust ....you've lost the relationship.
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
You're not just breaking a promise...you're also breaking a heart
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
I always find the things I don't want find, but I never the things I do, I just found a 10 year supply of Christmas cards, so excited NOT!
I'm ace at giving out relationship advice for someone that's been single years.
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
My son is almost old enough for social media so we’ll need to have “the talk” soon, You know, about your/you’re and their/there/they’re
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
The only way to communicate with a drunk person is to get pissed too
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
Don't leave your bed, it's a trap, it's fucking freezing
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
Love when ya mates get all loved up and you don't hear from them.
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
This girl I'm sexting has either fallen asleep or she's screenshotting the crap out of it.
Retweeted by ᒍᗩᗰEᔕ GOᖇᗪOᑎ-ᖴO᙭ᗯEᒪᒪ
If anyone offers you something that seems too good to be true, example join our club and receive 300 favs per tweet HACKERS @ThePhilRobbo
I started new job yesterday, position of a consultant for a big bank, training was hard and I still have a further three weeks of it.,,,,,
When you get a sudden pain out of nowhere is it plausible to think that someone has got a voodoo doll and is manipulating you, I'd say very!
When in a coffee house ordering a large coffee do they actually increase the ingredients or just add more water? I'm sceptical!