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Jesus Christ
comedy religion 599,413 followers
Don't eat my chocolate. I'll be back Monday.
I've had better days
Yeah I guess I'm having a good week
Sorry. But your keys into heaven have been compromised. You must re-do all your good deeds.
Know yourself before you know me
Quick question. What's an app?
I can moonwalk in reverse!
My date stood me up. Guess it's just me and Grand Theft Auto tonight.
Getting ready for my date with Beyoncé. Sorry J
YOLO! Unless you're me.
I got a dalmatian
Risks. Take them.
I came in like a rainbow.
You're basically all pretty little liars.
San Francisco
Well whatever.
Spoiler alert. I've commissioned Miley Cyrus to ride down the ball drop.
New Year's resolution: gain some weight. Tired of all the attention with these washboard abs.
I shot my eye out!
It's beginning to look a lot like Me más
Friday the 13th is overrated. It's all about Tuesday the 17th.
I was going to make a joke about how high I am but