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Jessica Stone
405 followers
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boys: spank me i’ve been naughty me: its okay we all make mistakes
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5h
*gets absolutely nothing done* well time for a break
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5h
*sees a pic of a skinny person* *inspired for 11 seconds*
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5h
it’s almost 2015 and food can still make you fat get it together science
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5h
all i want in life is to lose weight and gain money yet instead, here i am, gaining weight and losing money
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5h
beauty comes from within but a few strokes of brow pencil won't hurt.
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5h
bae: come over me: im a lizard bae: im home alone me: pic.twitter.com/p3KHCXHL2h
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5h
if i sigh loudly enough will all of my problems go away
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5h
my favorite color is 20 dollar bills
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5h
If a pizza has a radius 'z' and a thickness 'a', its volume can be defined as Pi(z*z)a.
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5h
*this pizza serves 4-6 people* bitch, the only person eating this pizza is me
Retweeted by Jessica Stone
6h
If someone gives you advice, respond with "you're right". It sounds more diplomatic than "I know"
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7h
life is so hard when you have twenty tv shows to watch
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girls who pretend to act stupid because they think it's cute need to be slapped in the face with a brick
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when you're trying to tell a story but your friends aren't listening pic.twitter.com/tOSZoXIkvE
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cookie dough is 100% worth the risk of salmonella
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Male garter snakes mimic female garter snakes in order to be cuddled by other males and steal their heat - A process called "kleptothermy."
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Refusing to woohoo with your husband because the room isn't decorated well enough.
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sry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found
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When you want things done right you must do them yourself.
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sext: cant wait to own a cat with you
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Chocolate has actually been proven to improve a bad mood.
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A man saved 669 kids from being killed during WWII and lived almost his entire life without letting people know.
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i dont like when my friends talk to people i hate
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my mom is either my best friend or satan, there is no in between
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Nothing is more annoying than when someone expects you to be okay with something that they wouldn't be okay with if you did it
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When a pretty girls picture pops up I just start going through all her pictures and depress myself because of how hot she is
Retweeted by Jessica Stone