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Jenny Johnson
Thank you @travonfree for tweeting this gift. #HallOfCost 🔯
The HALL OF COST!!!!! I wanna read whatever books he's been reading. #USA RT @Travon:
The guys from the Sonic commercials are so chatty you can barely hear the muffled screams from the drifter they have tied up in the trunk.
Can't sleep. Watching 'Friends' reruns. That Ross is really a shitty father to Ben.
I feel like we would know everything we need to know about politicians if we could see what kind of porn they masturbate to.
Kinda wish there was an ice bucket challenge for dramatic teens to stop saying, "I can't even."
When @idiotsivan needed a ride. #tbt #friendship #colonoscopy #bholes
The prestigious Oxford Dictionary added "Side Boob" "Hot Mess" and "YOLO" to their pages, so slam your dick in a car door, English language.
I love when people post Instagram pics of their kid or pet, but really they're showing off their cars, jewelry n' shit in the background.
This scene from 'American Dad' will forever make me laugh. #MakeMeFeelGoooood
Seems like parents just stopped raising their kids to be tenderonis and that makes me sad.
I'd rather someone text me "Fuck you." instead of "Ewww."
Obsessed with this headline about Asshole Baby. #assholebaby #terrorbaby
Verne Troyer aka Mini Me posted this picture of himself watching Shark Week. It's my favorite thing today. #SharkWeek
You know anytime Jamie Lee Curtis gets up and goes into a restroom everyone is thinking, "Ugh. Bet she's going in there to shit."
One of the hardest tributes I've ever had to write. #RobinWilliams
Retweeted by Jenny Johnson
My buddy @biznasty wins the ALS ice bucket challenge with this.
I think it's unfair how kids don't know that shitting is supposed to be embarrassing.
I imagine going on a cruise would feel like being on a floating Denny's for 7 days.
YES!!!! RT @derekwaterss: Y'all ready to learn about the band Poison on #drunkhistory tonight? #hawaii
A fun question to ask an employee at Whole Foods is, "What aisle are your gluten-free tampons on?"
I've RT'd this before, but it truly helped me understand what people with depression go through. RT @robdelaney:…
I drove past the Brady Bunch house today. I got so excited. It made me want to go to the Meat Cutter's Ball with Alice and Sam.