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Jamie Capria

The white cop who killed a black man in Alabama wants his trial moved because of "racial prejudice and hatred." Oh, the irony.
It's Jimi's birthday... the most influential guitar player in rock history. Fly on, little wing.
I'm bringing the Cowboys offensive line with me the next time I go shopping.
Are we great again yet? Are we great again yet? Are we great again yet? Shut up or I'll turn this country right back around.
Hillary conceded, Trump conceited.
The market is dropping rapidly... it's a perfect time to buy low on wall bricks.
If you listen very closely, you can hear Hillary smashing her stolen china.
Does this mean the USFL is on again?
Assuming I had a candidate is presumptuous.…
During one of our biggest racial crises in the past half decade, we elect a bigot. Brilliant!
People who ask for retweets are assholes. Retweet if you agree.
Breaking news: Fox News is reporting that they probably shouldn’t be allowed to report news.
The Cubs haven't won a World Series in 108 seconds.
Some people are happy-go-lucky. I'm happy-go-fuck-yourself.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth. For that matter, don't look it in the ass either.
MrFornicator is temporarily out of service, please try again later.
Today is national kissing day. I wish I had more asses.
This is an article I wrote. It's about peace and love and good happiness stuff. Actually, it's about Kevin Durant.…
My imaginary friend with benefits just told me we need to start pretending to see other people.
The United States ranked 35th internationally in mathematics last year. I only have 2 words for that: That's fucked up.
Did anyone else see that episode of Scooby Doo where they unmask the villain only to find out it was someone else all along?
If you don't have anything concise to say, don't say anything at all.
By a show of partial hands, how many people had a firecracker accident today?
I estimate that about 96% of the people who lose fingers today will also be people who think America is turning 2016 years old.
Durant signs with the Warriors. It's a wrap, other NBA players and teams... you can all go home now.
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