New year, new relationship status ☺️💍a
you know you're a cat lady when you set up your iPhone TouchID to allow your cat to unlock your phone with her paw. #itactuallyworkstho
if ur friends with someone who drives a prius u should probs stop being friends with them bc they probs talk shit about u
u know ur antisocial when u follow raccoons on Instagram instead of ppl u know
one perk about being able to make my own decisions is that I can take the elevator without my mother telling me I need to take the stairs
whatever I don't give a shit about them at least I was the one who turned out normal lol #idontwastemoneyonshittybandsanymoreeither
then I remember all the girls who I used to be friends with who are all still fangirls. particularly the ones who "cut me off" from them lol
also I often ask myself why I have over 65,000 tweets. then I remember I was a fangirl.
and they're claiming Starbucks is taking the "christ" out of "christmas"? oh I didn't know your holidays revolved around fucking coffee cups
maybe I'm just ignorant but are religious people seriously not going to Starbucks anymore because they removed designs from the red cups?
pretty sure the underlying reason why I actually go and talk to my therapist is bc of the Jonas brothers breakup tbh they ruined my life
also ur loud cars as u drive past me is v not attractive pls stop :-(
wow I wish I could b friends w every1 @ skool who vapes!!!! u guys r so cool :-(
"I wanna dance! I wanna go bullshit crazy!"- @merrellgrice
at the @nickjonas
concert right now
Do you suffer from not being able to save the drama for your mama or to save that shit for after class? If so, Biology is the place for you!
definitely the best thing I would ever want to hear during a class break is the girl next to me sobbing over some guy that she never dated
He makes your voice sound funny. (via @ScienceDump
now it's BB Good. oh my god. help me.
she also can't hit Nick's high notes or express the same emotion
she's singing the guitar solo. singing. the guitar. solo.
she also has no idea I'm tweeting this because she won't stop staring at me call the cOPS
now she won't stop singing "a little bit longer" and doing stupid arm raises and hand signs simultaneously
Merrell will not stop farting my bed. no this is not a joke. and no, I'm not doing this to embarrass her. she is actually literally farting.
and now she's here and won't stop annoying the shit out of me @merrellgrice
and I might have just listened to the Jonas brothers on repeat but no one has to know that
I never tweet anymore but if I did they would all be indirect tweets. but I'm 20 now and indirect tweeting is so teenagerish & catty goodbye
me when I say I love life
can't wait until @merrellgrice
wastes her money to come to Florida to see her best friend! I need my 3am donut run with my bestie bug 🐝👯👑
it's funny when this doesn't work for some people lol
I don't care about your coachella or any other diseases you might have
we're the most loving couple you ever will see
I'm half Irish but don't kiss me
the human mind is truly the scariest place there is.
also I'm breaking up with @merrellgrice
because I saw gold and white and she saw black and blue as well
Sean and I are breaking up because I saw gold and white and he saw black and blue
I may look like a bum going to school but I'm wearing tory burch shoes to let people know I'm still fabulous 🎀💅
I know I can always count on @merrellgrice
to give me cavities and sock monkeys 🐒💗
I should be doing homework but instead I'm looking at celebrities before and after plastic surgery pictures. help.
so I made the President's List last semester for having a 4.0 and getting all A's in my classes 👍
I'm taking astronomy this semester and I don't think I've ever made a better life decision
what's even better about starting school this week is that it's a new semester of college and not high school. HA. #adultshit
first tweet of the year was a complaint. what a surprise #me #justallisonthings
who said it was okay to remix take me to church by hozier. the beats don't match and it's not meant to be a club song
and suddenly I'm in California