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I almost forgot how not funny I am but that last tweet will always be a constant reminder. Thank you Twitter.
You can unfriend me on Facebook You can unfollow me on Twitter You can delete my # from your phone But you can't unsuck my dick
Retweeted by JavanSensation
If you don't think I'd ever fight for love... try touching my french fries #lunchtime
S/o to all the bad bitches riding around in a hooptie. I see you gurl
I thought #DWTS was a new std that everyone was tweeting about
According to my calculations we're all fucked
I traded being well liked for keeping it 100
Oh you're graduating high school next month... Welcome to the struggle.
Who needs body glitter when your leg hair sparkles in the sun like that?
Retweeted by JavanSensation
Staying with a woman for a long period of time...... There's a joke in there somewhere.
Eyebrows gotta be on point. That's bad bitch 101.
Happy Easter. Passover some of that dank and help me resurrect my high
Jesus is technically a zombie
Too early to start drinking????? No
All these timelines and bullshit, I'm always on my grind, so I rhyme lines to the fullest. #RhymingIsEasy
Would it make you mad knowing that mom was probably looser than you when she was your age?
"I wanna take u home and breastfeed u" - some guy to @KThileman
Retweeted by JavanSensation
The Wendy's I just walked into is swanky as fuck. Dave would be proud #rip #wendys
Just spent this $2 bill I've been holding onto on a soda cuz I'm bad at commitment
Retweeted by JavanSensation
My version of spring cleaning is finishing off all the alcohol in the fridge
Witty banter on twitter is as wasted as I am currently am #youbethejudge
New catch phrase: Snap, crackle, pop motherfucker
I'm still using an iPhone 4 and my tweet game is still on fleek
I'm 2 McDoubles away from possibly giving a shit
My signature sex move is eating a whole bag of cheesy Doritos without ever licking my fingers once
Sorry I ruined your existence. I thought you were hitting on me.
Tuesday is like that really quiet friend that you forget is there but then he talks and you’re like "Oh shit, ummm.. Soooo, what’s up man?"
You know who you are. *points in the distance*
Beer is alway time wasted
Friend: You ain't got bitches. Me: *looks around* Who? Friend: You nigga. Me: I got bitches. I got over 400 #Tinder matches
To me #TheFriendZone is the best way to acquire vonriable rebound sex
My favorite sex position is the one where you point a gun at my head while in tears saying "this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do"
I just bumped into someone who unmatched me on #Tinder IRL and crop dusted the shit out of her
I always have emergency condoms hidden in selective areas of my house. It's just too bad I'm never home
Being emotionally unstable is exciting as fuck.
"I was class president, prom king, valedictorian, and voted most likely to succeed" - Says the guy that was homeschooled
I was thinking about posting a picture of my dick as my comeback to twitter but decided that I'm better than that
Girl you're hotter than fish grease
I only lie to cops and women
Every time I brush my hair I think of bitch niggas like you and how fortunate you are.
Their are lesbians in the club swoller than you my nigga
The older I get, the less I care. So I'm like, 28 times more likely to not give a fuck
Why these niggas tryna stunt in Christmas clothes?