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Who is up for a round of duck, duck, goose?
I like to start my Saturdays with a hot coffee and a "Oh god what the fuck did I do last night."
Relationship Status: Hoping to get frisked at the door of this club I'm about to walk into.
My grammar skills are seriously lacking at the moment
If you've never had to the roll a window down w/ pliers then you don't know anything about the struggle
Throwback Thursday to that time when I used to have sex. #tbt
If you can't tell, I'm somewhat of an alcoholic
I have important issues to deal with... That is why I drink.
I drink my beers like they're going to expire 5 mins after opening it.
A bird almost pooped on me, but then I remembered that bird poop is good luck. So I smeared it all over my body. Does that still count?
That's it, from now I'm ending every telephone conversation with the words "party on."
Since niggas don't wanna tag me in photos I'm clearly in #friends @hyperuppercut @bendallas87 @issacf
This high schools graduation theme is "nigga we made it #2k14" Kids these days
My iphone came with this app that makes my face look all weird and unattractive. I'm pretty sure its called camera.
I miss the days when The Never Ending Story was just a movie, and not listening to people talk about what happened back in high school
My dying wish is to be buried deep within dat ass... Now, I'm not dying, but that booty making me wish I was. #YouKnowWhoYouAre
True Life: My Twitter Crush Hates My Guts
Currently listening to Mae. You don't have to understand #emo