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Jared Cesare

Left my trousers in the wash too long before I dried them and now I smell like a soaked rodent at work.
Pumped gas, pulled out, trigger was jammed, sprayed the entire Orange County with pure gasoline, including myself.
heard the entire @Volumesband album last night and holy fuck that shit is amazing !! so happy to be apart of it
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
you only hate the people you can't have or the people you can't be.
you hate me at night i love you when i wake up
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
i'm in love with the shape of you, we push and pull like a magnet do
The awkward moment when I walk into work to my manager telling me he was watching me on @jaredcesare's live feed
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
I feel like I'm ending world hunger when I work before a snow storm.
"The pretty birds are pretty, but the peacocks are pretty." - critics say brilliant
I'm both right now
.@austincarlile leaving @OMandM shows integrity, spirit and courage in a scene often lacking in all three.……
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
The Amazon Fire Stick saves my mental stability.
The 2003 "Peter Pan" is one of my favorite movies of all time.
#NYR @ChrisKreider completes the hat trick!! 🎩🚨🎩�DkMusb
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
@JaredCesare 2016 was one of the best years of my life. More to come papa
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
So I'll be the asshole to say 2016 was great. Met my girlfriend, bought a house, still didn't shave my beard...ready for you 2017.
where do i apply to get a friend who takes candid photos of me being carefree and nonchalant for me to upload to instagram
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
My sister and her boyfriend's posts make me want to swan dive off Mount Rushmore.
"I'm so-low. Call me Han."
You're only as sick as your secrets.
White tee and shorts two days after Christmas. Quite concerning..but quite arousing.
I thank God for blessing me with my family, friends, and loved ones. Merry Christmas, I love you all. 🎄
Store closed at 6. Emptied at 6:05. Merry Christmas you filthy slugs.
Store closed at 6. Emptied at 6:05. Merry Christmas you filthy slugs.
There's a guy in here sweating his balls off trying to get last minute gifts. When I told him we were closing at 6, he nearly fainted.
I said that I would do it and I did.
Crazy how I counted down every single day until Christmas after Halloween when I was little. Now it's just here.
Our new album is finished and being mixed/mastered. Who's ready for the newest release from VOLUMES?
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
I don't usually do this les' I'm drunk or I'm high but I'm both right now and I need you in my life
Perfect night for excessive amounts of food and movies. Possibly bunny slippers.
Mr car smells like the janitor's office at any local elementary school. Concerned.
Guy at the package store just called me Papi 7 times in 30 seconds. I finally understand how uncomfortable I make people feel.
I am fucking freaking out about how good this new song is and how bad its gonna fuck your world up when you hear it hahaha
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
I want to thank everyone for making 2016 the most successful year this band has ever had. No brags, just facts. Took years to dig out.
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
If Santa got instagram none of y'all hoes getting anything
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
"Did you hear @JaredCesare's extended Mello mix? Yeah it was fucking fire but I didn't say anything didn't want to gas him up"
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
"I'm so drunk I'm checking my emails" @Josh_Wheeler_
So Facebook has hashtags? Twitter has live videos? Instagram has stories? Stop the cross contamination. Now.
These rescued pit bulls can't stop kissing each other — now all they need is a home together! (via @itsthepits)
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
I would much rather smell your rolling fart dungeon than 45 black ice air fresheners. Now I have a headache that's evolving to a stroke.
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
As a psych grad the fact that my ex has reconstructed the events of our breakup to look like she broke up with me is pretty fascinating
Retweeted by Jared Cesare
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