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when i kiss you i taste the universe
"Hey there Delilah what's it like in Baghdad city you're 1,000 miles away but girl the explosions look so pretty"
Wanna hear a joke? The american justice system
earth moves in circles, keep spinning around
deep in the mix | broadcasting live on pirate
I rather have one great person to talk too every night than have several pointless conversation with temporary people
the people who make lyric videos on youtube are the backbone of this nation
Eyebrows so strong they bench press 350
I hate cute couples unless they’re 50% me
“I wouldn’t mind having my neck kissed by you for hours.”
Do you ever feel people staring at you and you like forget how to walk
Imagine watching an episode of Catfish and seeing someone use your pictures to catfish someone else
Let her know or let her go.
Jon Briggs, the voiceover guy on Weakest Link, also voices the male version of Siri in the UK.
A woman is not written in braille, you don’t have to touch her to know her.
my anaconda dont want none unless you got funds hun
wet dream: being financially secure with a career I enjoy
*tries to get eight hours sleep in 3 hours*
do you ever type a long rant and then at the end of it you select all of it and delete it because no one cares
I either dress like im going to a red carpet event or like im a homeless drug addict there is no in between
you’re as unsatisfying as cold french fries
what if doorbells went dong ding instead of ding dong
It must be hard being aligned with a religion/ideology. People coming along with different representations of it ruining your peaceful name
Everytime I watch an advert something worthwhile gets pushed out of my brain. How to work out %s, how long to boil pasta for… it’s all gone
The year is 2019. Bearded man bun wielding male fashionistas have taken over. Earth has been found to be nothing but God's man bun cut free
Just had porridge for the 1st time in like a decade. It's alright ya know, duno why we parted ways on such bad terms all those years ago
I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself.
i wanna feel how dogs feel when you let them go in a big field
She was a curious girl who loved the smell of old books, chasing butterflies and touching herself under the covers.
life is all about tough decisions getting enough sleep or staying on the internet
the trick to solving a rubiks cube is to make each face of the cube it’s own color
alphabet soup more like times new ramen am i right
I always end up thinking about the economic damage in superhero movies
People asking me what kind of music I like is such a stressful experience
I'm like the dopest dope you've ever smoked
You kept growing snake eyes
Do not chase people. Be you and do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay.
The Cravendale biscuit boy advert is the stuff of nightmares.
Why is Morgan Freeman Black in every movie?
G.C.S.E's I've lied on my c.v for the last 5 years not one fucker has checked them, B in maths yeah right, I can't even count to B
who keeps making Step Up movies and why?