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James Deen
The part in the Adams family values when Christina ricci does the creepy smile... That's when I knew it was true love
Dear Canada, I am sorry if this comes as a surprise but I am leaving you. We had some good times together and I hope we can remain friends
How the fuck does invisibility cause corruption? Does that ring do anything else??? me on the bret easton ellis podcast!!!!!
i get offended when people call me a c-list celebrity... I AM AN X-LIST CELEBRITY GAWD DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
New post: I Had Anal Sex With Krissy Lynn
i'm a ho-fessional gawddamnit!!!!!!!
dear maia and ramon... you two are weird and i like it.ā€¦
all roads have lead to me needing a hot tub in my life
i am hungry and tired... and drunk... incredibly, incredibly drunk
prehistoric fish... suck it
New post: Sebastian Vonn Wondercat III
i'd james your deen gawddamnit!!!!! DON'T EVER FORGET... i'm a mother fucking verb :-)
don't act like you don't take dick pics at the urinal in the airport
New post: Anal Sex With Gabriella Paltrova
Last night had a lovely conversation with chef Paul Gerard about oyster jizz
I think I am still hung over from Thursday
Just took a chest punch from Danielle levitt's pimp ring... Totally deserved it too
Yesterday I Drank vodka with my friend for 12 hours and haven't heard from her all day today... Pretty sure she is dead
Just laying around sweating and peeing on myself out of apathy
New post: Sara Luvv Broke My Penis And I Don't Care
that was the most tepid and unsatisfying shower of all time
My friend Loco died today... Goodbye loco. Vodka in your honor you crazy bastard
hot tub - check lake front - check wifi - check bear poster... WHERE IS THE BUTTON TO CHECK OFF BEAR POSTER????
Everyone is google-able these days. Fuck secrets.
what!??!?!?!? i *did* compliment the man on his facial hair
i should tweet something... ummmmm... i am in new york. uhhhh... elephants can't wear pants!!!!!!!
New post: James Deen Loves Alektra Blue's Butt
whoever directed this new levi's commercial contact me. i want to give you a job directing porn for
sometimes i forget how good 40 days and 40 nights is... then it comes on comedy central and i remember... "the bagel guy knows everything"
Whenever I am watching movies on planes I cry. Any movie... I was watching fucking x-men this time. Why to planes make me so emotional???
How else would it be used?? RT @gabydunn: @JamesDeen love that you used clockwork orange as a verb
I am going to clockwork orange @gabydunn and make her watch every episode of the simpsons
New post: I'M AT DISNEYLAND!!!!!!
i keep rubbing face lotion in my eye because i don't know how to moisturize my face...
I cut myself shaving then I got weird and played with the blood... and then took a picture
I do??? Sweet!!!!! Good job!!!! RT @JamesDeenPromo: OH HEY! @JamesDeen has an instagram now: @therealjamesdeen
what... the fuck... is stiches????
New post: Brand New Big Natural Boob Teen
i just inhaled cheese. tweeting while choking... send help please
New post: Casey Calvert Has A Butt
The problem with religion is that it exists.... Just don't be a dick and call your mother every now and then
Government works for the citizens. We pay you to do a job with those wonderful things called taxes. Now do it GAWDDAMNIT!!!!!!
Sorry that was rude... *kindly* shove the state law all the way inside your anuses l
Dear cops. Fuck you. Stop people from violating others civil liberties and take state law and shove it all the way inside your anuses
Sorry, I am listening to propagandhi and apparently reverting into my 13 year old self
If there is supposed to be a separation of church and state then how come the pledge of allegiance has "one nation under god" in there?