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Jake'd
I just took a Hobbit shit. Started out ok but ended up breaking into 3 sloppy nuggets. pic.twitter.com/TdYAzSjCMG
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signs a girl lost in an argument: - yeah, but.. - whatever - *brings up past events*
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my girl ain't allowed to shave, unless she's gonna see me. no sense clearing the jungle if it ain't for the lion king
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how about when you see a dude actively trying to fix the problem but you're still a judgemental hoe pic.twitter.com/Z3MbrIgdAw
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Looks like from now on we just watch whatever Kim Jong Un says we can watch. #TheInterview
Kim jong un can suck on my democratic dick and swallow my free speech.
Close call - imagine if a film lampooning the N. Korean government had actually been released. Imagine the backlash pic.twitter.com/Ls5hAfVFZk
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It would be nice to see fewer YouTubers supporting Audible. Their DRM is fucking terrible. Our audience deserves better.
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Told momma i wanted two burgers. Don't wanna brag but i got THREE.
But nothing comes out when you move ya lips, just a bunch of Manischewitz and motherfuckers act like they forgot about Dreidel.
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Every office is having holiday parties, no one knows their coworkers, just show up at random parties, drink, & tell them youre in accounting
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Barber: What kind of cut you want Him: Just fuck me up pic.twitter.com/5mO2q2KoOs
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The new Shelby GT350 looks GOSH DARN BEAUTIFUL
i am a boy with diabetes and memes are my insulin.
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Some people need to slow down with pictures of their horse, like c’mon horses are ugly and we don't care.
Zelda is an inconsiderate fuck, taking up space on my lap and shit... instagram.com/p/wkeDLMQBMa/
Listening to Nas is just 👌
hello @justinbieber you look like fucking midget mosquito dick
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I am excited to announce that I am now the Community Manager of Gaming @google @YouTube
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If I could read minds I would look into everyone's dirty thoughts like a right scumbag
Nicki Minaj looks dang fine for 32.
It's almost that time of the year where you try to convince everyone you know you're a good person so they buy you things.
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Just got a YouTube comment that was the ENTIRE script of Predator 1... pic.twitter.com/oxgIu95nD0
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No charges for Seattle cop who punched unarmed handcuffed woman, broke her eye socket. boingboing.net/2014/12/06/no-… pic.twitter.com/GZ7ZBlicrb
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This is cute: would be infinitely cooler if he farted and she was coo with it. pic.twitter.com/omfe7MZNsJ
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The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from when we were born & only stops when you take a test or talk to someone attractive.
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I am sorry but if you think the arrow can beat the flash in a fight you're fucking stupid.
Shit, NASA is launching Orion to Mars and I’m just here lamenting about pornless woods.
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Mate Pusha T said last year he though Wayne was wack and now he's saying he wants him on GOOD? Cmon now
Might start streaming again, i just feel like it :/
Carmen Electras jawline scares me.