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Jake'd
BEING ME IS THE BEST THING GOING FOR ME
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@selenagomez is now 18. so she can now legally take my dick in her fucking ass
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At work so I can't watch the new battlefront trailer AGH
yoo s/o to louis tomlinson, and zayn. they're real shop: meninist.co pic.twitter.com/B2hNG0M7ag
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I'm guessing the person that designed this didn't quite know comic books ... pic.twitter.com/ktXkiOkHRk
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Matty B raps is the future of the genre.
"Sir, the reactor coolant pipes have ruptured!" Submarine Captain "All our hopes rest with the unlikeliest of heroes" pic.twitter.com/Ds6BpgmwTc
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Man I'm so thankful I'm no longer a fuckboi.
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@AudioPush is the next big thing in the hip hop industry... Mark my words. πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯
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I just sharted myself. That's when u fart and u shit yourself on accident!
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fun sea fact of the day: baby rays look like ravioli stuffed with tiny damned souls pic.twitter.com/44Ui3F8B0w
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2 years in a row my daughter pranked me with a pickle in my coffee. Jokes on her though cause I haven't started a college fund. #AprilFools
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I hate it when it starts to get hot because then people want to go outside and do dumb stuff like have a "picnic" and be social.
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My timeline is Ultra and WWE. This is why I love you guys.
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A quick reminder about on-screen diversity at Fox News #foxnewsfacts pic.twitter.com/XE7tSHw2p9
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In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion is like what the hell am i doing here i'm a savannah animal
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Just got yelled at for 30 minutes then punched in the face :( pic.twitter.com/0aDsYy74Lm
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My names lindsay and I love touching Phil's penis. -Not Phil
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girls be attracted to weird shit like i might be getting curved because i don't have enough veins showing on my arms
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Jeremy Clarkson has been sacked. Really hope the BBC boss ended the meeting by saying "And on that bombshell."
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Ariana Grande is a cautionary tale of what happens when you mix black magic and a Bratz doll.
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People like to joke, but I had a cousin who was actually FULL of boloney.
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girls with no ass wearing yoga pants is like listening the clean version of a chief keef song.
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I really want cities skylines :(
Meet the 24GB BFG GTX Titan XXX, the beefiest Titan ever seen and it has a price tag to match overclock3d.net/articles/gpu_d… pic.twitter.com/ExJ7d4Lrq1
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They say you shouldn't meet your heroes. And they're right cause I met a baby raccoon once and it pooped on my shoulder.
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If Gucci can release 7 albums from prison then you can text me back.
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I think we have our Best TV Show of 2015, people. pic.twitter.com/lfLC5jPB3I
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Also docking with a spaceport is the single most stressful experience of my life...