Believe it or not, Christians can (and should) have some humor in their lives.
I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun and not you.
NASA would be a lot more popular if once in a while they'd fight some Klingons.
Lemon drop martini time!!
You always end up posting some thong you didn't Nintendo.
I love that @tim_cook
is on Twitter. It’s awesome.
Happy birthday, @CortlandCoffey
!! Hope it's an amazing one, my friend!
Now more than 100 wrecks reported in Abilene TX due to ice. It’s only gonna get worse from here. Be safe out there, folks!
It's Kip-Bird! @agirlivy @byramstudio
Isn't it ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom - Until they're flashing behind you.
Pretty sure my ear is asleep...is that even a thing?! Is that possible!?!
They say you should test your fire alarm once a month. I try but it's costing me a fortune in houses.
If the Mayans have taught us anything, it is that if you don't finish something, it's not the end of the world.
Google: I know everything.
Facebook: I know everyone.
Internet: Without me, you're nothing.
Electricity: Keep talking fools.
Forever waiting for one of Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends to write a song called "Maybe You're the Problem"...
The truths of who God is remain true regardless of my feelings about Him and them. My doubt doesn’t mean His character changes.
Whenever I delete an app from my iPhone, the shaking icons make me think they're panicked over who's being cut from the team.
I’d say skipping work was a good call today. Over 30 reported wrecks today in Abilene TX. Most on the roads I drive on to get there.
I've got some more funny tweets headed your way this weekend. Excited to share them with you all! Humor is great, folks.
We all think we're pretty smart until we try to turn on someone else's shower.
Those areas I RT'd are areas where I drive on on the way to, and from, work. I'd say @byramstudio
and I made a good call staying home!
When it comes to a 30 minute drive with ice, below freezing temps and the like - I am gonna be safe and stay home until it’s safer. Period.
Well. We are staying home today. Ice is building on the interstate and only gonna get worse thru the day. #TexasIceDay
I am super thankful for all of you fine people in my life. Yes. Even you, reading this right now. You are awesome.
Uhh yeah. A little bit too cold for my taste.
I don’t wanna get up. I wanna sleep for another couple hours! Cold weather makes me about 90% less happy to leave my bed in the morning.
I really wish I had a fire place right about now.
Woah! Cold front just showed up to say hello.
Apparently there are bibles on Amazon for $120-$180 - made of premium Morocco goat skin. That just seems way too fancy to me.
Solid olive tree sculpture from Israel. Jesus washing His disciple's feet.
I now have dental, eye and accidental injury insurance (on top of my health insurance). Blessed to have a job where I can have insurance.
Today is the only today you’re ever gonna get. Make it count.
I am far too selfish and sarcastic. Something I need to fix. That’s for dang sure.
I feel like many people who claim Christ in America only did so due to pressure by a family member or pastor. Not by the calling of God.
Christ’s glory does not depend on our performance. He shines regardless of our efforts. I take great comfort in that.
Shout out to Nancy over at @ATTCustomerCare
- seems to be one of the best reps I've talked to ever. Pleasure working with her.
When Morgan Freeman narrates a nature documentary he narrates it first, then nature makes it so.
Have you ever been so tired you can’t sleep!? Yeah. That.
Sometimes in life you just wish your mom could cuddle you and tell you everything will be alright. I'm not too proud to admit that.
Probably going to be having surgery within the next month. Meeting with HR tomorrow to discuss time off and insurance. Prayers appreciated.
I love a woman with curves…in her bible. OH SNAP!
I am craving sushi so bad. Remembering an amazing weekend with family.
Man. The world is so messed up.
We are generous because Christ was generous to us. Give selflessly. Love recklessly. Show Christ always.
Sad to know so many servers in restaurants dread serving Christians. Can we please stop being so dang snoody and actually TIP the people!?
Grace is a beautiful thing.