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Cartersville's field is terrible but @HairfieldDylan isn't
When you don't know the code to your friends wifi so you just connect to the jail's guest service
When your siblings test your patience too early in the morning.
21.5 million Americans got hacked by a foreign government, but Democrats want you to believe a flag from the 19th century is a threat.
Retweeted by John.
Why do my parents bust in my room like they're trying to catch me cheating on them with another set of parents?
I guess even kei couldn't escape jungle fever…
Here's me getting RKO'd by a huge black guy
*dad comes downstairs in boxers and watches 'That 70's Show' with me* "what is this? it reminds me of all of my friends from high school"
Calculate the concentration of time the professor actually spends teaching by titrating her with 1.00 M H2SO4.
I wonder what it's like to be so weak that words hurt you.
Like why? This happens way too often.
America's #1 problem: making problems that don't exist.
Retweeted by John.
Do good things & good things will come to you.
Retweeted by John.
Messing with Chem nerds.
Red light conversations about life with @MaffrewReid
I'm weak Asab 💀💀💀💀 Delly is Shane McMahon 💀💀💀…co/Os0ZAbGeZ6
Retweeted by John.
.@realDonaldTrump on his presidential run: “I’m not using the lobbyists. I’m not using donors… I’m really rich.”
Retweeted by John.
Professor:"I took 5 points off because you needed to add a legend to your graph" Me:"I did" P:"this is just a picture of you..? Me: "and?"
@itsthatjohnguy holy balls. I thought it was about time we called him up
Retweeted by John.
Perks of dating me: -sometimes I'm funny -i don't go out so we can always hang out on weekends -i live near a bitchin pizza joint
"I hired Dee's to fix our electricity" 'Ha Deez nuts haven't heard that one b4' "No Dee's electrical u childish ass"
Titrations more like crytrations.
It is what it is, trust me you get what you give.
Pay attention to those who don't applaud you when you win
Starbucks barista: slim shady? [everyone stands up] Starbucks barista: the REAL slim shady [everyone sits down except me]
"I served for 22 years. Brave? Yes, we all were. I wouldn't have had the balls to renounce my gender nationally like that, though." -My Dad
When she hits you with that "what are we?" You got to hit her with that "we. are. farmers. Bumbadabumbumbumbumbum"
So I'm doing my little brother's history project for him what do you guys think?
Retweeted by John.
There's no code of ethics out here, anyone will take shots at you. Yeah.
This is why my parents hate me.
So go girls check out guys butts too, orrrr...?
First elevator experience: young couple walks in, doors close. Doors open, old couple walks out. Thought it was some kind of old-ifyer.
When you're fresh out the womb and already tired of everyone's shit.
Every 4 years Pizza Hut comes out with a square pizza and tries to pretend like it's a new idea every time.
What's helped me recently is treating everyone like it's the last time I'd see them. Unfortunately, some people wouldn't care if it was.
My dorm is empty and it's so nostalgic. There's people that moved me in and spent lots of time here that I'm not even friends with anymore.
It's been a year full of exceptional plays from Steph Curry. Let's take a look back at some of the best. VIDEO:
Retweeted by John.

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