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Johnny F. Kennedy
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Favoriting a tweet is like saying "Look I agree with you off the record but it would hurt my image if I supported it publicly"
Retweeted by Johnny F. Kennedy
@SethThompson4: Sitting next to Sam this game. #TurnDownForNothing #NoChill” You're such a dick, dude. He's got Aspergers...
@trutherbot: pic.twitter.com/Trj9lUJqsY” ...like straight into the hearts of your enemies!
"Why do you spend so much time studying?" "Why do you read about that?" "How come you never sleep?" You'll understand in a few years.
*speed dating* "What's your name and favorite TV show?" "How convenient, My name is earl."
I have never given a damn about fantasy football.
Georgia fans every year: "we're going to get that national champion next year" Florida fans every year: "this is just a rebuilding year"
It's like everyone decides "hey let's not text John back" at the same time.
I love sour Georgia fans
I'm not even going to stunt like a lame and pretend I'm a fan of some bandwagon team like all of you weenies. I'm a proud UVA fan.
The ugliest car award unanimously goes to the Nissan juke
This is just a taste of how hard people are going to try to screw you out of your money later on in life. pic.twitter.com/L9HSx2tpm3
I get so many dirty looks for wearing my Mercer Baseball shirt. However, I see plenty of short, fat, females wearing football shirts so like
Beyoncé really isn't that star-spangled awesome.
The best thing I've ever done was put peanut butter on Oreos.
Don't find everything you love in 1 thing. Find 1 thing you love in everything.
If you don't get your kids vaccinated because you think it's bad for them: you are wrong. Always. 100% of the time. You're also stupid.
How about instead of jumping to conclusions, everyone calms down until all of the facts are released regarding the mike brown shooting.
@Jake______Chris: I wanna do something today..” Calm down Phineas
Guys, black people have been killed in cold blood by cops for forever. Why do you guys pretend like this is a new thing?
@RileyLeifson: My cute dinner date😍❤️@Jake______Chrisspic.twitter.com/gXeWx5lPUEE” looks like young justin bieber
The "Can I please speak with the manager" haircut. pic.twitter.com/RSk0qve5zN
Is 8th grade really the best time to hit the kids with Shakespeare..? Shakespeare argument: *just kill yourself if things don't work out*
"Simba, your reign will be everything the sun touches" "But what about that shadowy place? By 5 o'clock the sun will touch there too"
If there's anything I've learned from infomercials, it's that Vaginal Mesh is a serious problem in the US. #stopvaginalmesh
@Jake______Chris: I want 1 pic.twitter.com/QBYKtFt5Wu” All eyes on that 1990 Pontiac Grand Am.
@K_Gray95: 2 months clean 👌” One day 10 years from now, you'll have showered every single day and I'm going to be so proud!
Shout out to myself. Just your average 40 year old mom that didn't know what vine was until today. pic.twitter.com/gfRprdXlrH
@K_Gray95: “@chasejeter04: DUKE 😈😈😈” yessir baby 👏👏👏👏👏” Sorry to do it to ya
"Tell us more about yourself Mr. Christiansen" "Ok, well first things first I'm the realest"
Why does the class of 2018 have an official twitter? Return to your crib before your parents spank you.
@Chickensalad222: I don't go to the arcade. Too many games.” Calm down drake.
I wish I could pour your personality through a coffee filter.
*shoots gun and it makes a kazoo noise* "Dang it that means my little sister has my silencer..."
Why do parents always put an awkward space in-between the last word in a sentence and the punctuation ?
"Nice going Einstein." "Yeah way to go, Einstein" "Good one Einstein" - Annual Einstein family softball game
The human mouth is dirtier than the floor so no you may not have some of my drink.
Well at least maybe I can watch Sportscenter tomorrow without them having another thirty minute segment on Lebron
This dudes leg is broken. Every day, American soldiers lose body parts to crazy people strapped with bombs. But, where are your priorities?
People say "whole 'nother level" as if it really makes sense.
"First things first I'm da realist..." *turns off radio* *gets out of car* *walks to destination*