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Champagne GrandPápí
Being an adult is like holding a fitted sheet, no one knows how
#nintendo #nes @nintendo #classic #retro #gaming #retrogaming #8bit
I’m all for legal hunting & all that but this shit is fucked up. This guy needs to be hunted. www.yahoo.com/news/american-dentist-killed-zimbabwe-famous-lion-192723625.html
There's nothing scarier than driving the same speed directly next to someone on the highway
I don't listen to country music because I'm not aroused by tractors
I only need about $50,000 for just clothes
I wish I could reenact the fantasy scenes from 50 Shades Of Grey, particularly the one where she gets a job right out of college
Look what I picked up. #Ness #amiibo @nintendo #Nintendo
Here's the video: Go @ #hulkhogan being #Racist but @wwe #vincemcmahon @tripleh @stephaniemcmahon aren't far behind #doublestandards Vince @johncena here. @120sports @sportsillustrated @espn
Go @ #hulkhogan being #Racist but @wwe #vincemcmahon @tripleh @stephaniemcmahon aren't far behind #doublestandards Vince @johncena here.
Can't stress this enough
Enjoy the little things in life, because one day you'll look back and realise, those were the big things
Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy
Both my parents white but you can still call me Papi
My entry into @mojang_games #minecraft :) @nintendo #Nintendo #SuperMario
I know I'm not the only one who thinks this
When I need motivation, my one solution is my queen. I'm in love with my best friend💞I
When my mom catches me trynna sneak a bite before dinner is served
Started off this year with the goal to lose 5 pounds, only 15 more to go💪🏻...
I overslept and didn't get to go to the gym, that's three years in a row now. I'll try again tomorrow
meet Diesel and Bear 💪🏻�Q4IO
Chinese takeout: $10.55. Gas to get there and back: $4.14. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
The blood that you donated could be in someone's boner right now
That awkward moment when you're in the bathroom stall and you make eye contact with the person checking to see if the stall is empty
So I wore a red shirt and khakis to Target today, long story short, I'm pretty sure I was promoted to assistant manager
Ladies call me Subway because I've got low quality meat and lie about being 6 inches
You know The #Struggle
He's Back!!!! #undertaker #brocklesnar #borklaser
When you see a text from your ex
The older I get, the more I understand squidwards frustration
Never make permanent decisions based off of temporary feelings
My new @nintendo #3DSXL added to the #Nintendo family
It takes nothing away from a human to be kind to an animal
It's the possibility of dreams coming true that make life interesting
My girlfriend doesn't know, but I put a dollar in an envelope when we have sex, that's Christmas money, so far she's getting is a McChicken
When My mom gives me a list of chores
When life's got you down just think about the kid who got cut from the basketball team in Air Bud to make room for a golden retriever
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, in my shoe, my sock is falling off
When I get married, I'm inviting all of my exes to the wedding. I want them sitting all in the front row so I can thank yall for fucking up




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