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I Am Shan
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The Truman Show (1998) -… ...Best Movie Ever Made
I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at, before you take up bird watching.
*me while losing an argument* Ok but why are you yelling.. Damn stop yelling at me you..Phew!
@TheTweetOfGod If Jesus could walk on water and humans are 78 % water.. If I walk on someone, I am 78 % Jesus? -What's up? Father..;-D
If rap artists always brag about how they used to be criminals, then why do they think it's wrong to illegally download their music? -served
What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich? What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth? - I am Pac Man..:D
@Chelsea_Fagan Please can you upload some weight gaining tricks for men..cuz i'm thin like a paper. ._.! Thanks.
@nicolaannepeltz Exactly..We need more..:D
ICYMI: Pharrell Williams and Robin Thicke were found guilty of stealing Marvin Gaye's music
Retweeted by I Am Shan
@EmilyOsment Happy Birthday to you..🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🎊🎉🎂🎁🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
ADAM: Can I tell you something? GOD: Sure. ADAM: When you said "Let there be light," it really made my day. GOD: Shut the fuck up Adam.
*if I had been Adam Eve: I have a boyfriend.
The only thing that could stop me from taking selfies is a photo of what I look like taking selfies.
How to stop time: kiss. How to travel in time: read. How to escape time: music. How to fear time: write. How to waste time: social media.
Perks of not wearing eye makeup: you can rub the shit out of your eyes so hard you end up in that black starry Galaxy.
Not all goodbyes are sad. Example: "Goodbye, class"
@VrroooN ..meanwhile somewhere in China , a gentleman by the name 'Ho Lee' 😑 is still confused why billions of Indians want him to be Happy!
..meanwhile somewhere in China 🇨🇳, a gentleman by the name 'Ho Lee' 😑 is still confused why billions of Indians want him to be Happy!
See the difference? Be a turtle or a bird. Don't be a human.
teacher: *hands me a worksheet* me: *autographs it and hands it back* always happy to meet a fan :')
Have you ever wanted to cry but no tears came out so you just stare blankly into space while feeling your heart breaks into a million pieces
I posted a new photo to Facebook
@TheTweetOfGod Some times you just feel like telling someone. Shut up you Ass Face.
Cute! Justin Timberlake visits pregnant Jessica Biel on set:
Retweeted by I Am Shan
I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas.
Hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can't even hold a spoon.
Pasta is much better than past.
You aren't rich until you have something that money can't buy.
When you get a haircut and regret it. xD
Alternative names for relatives 1.Anytime home visitor 2.Board Exam score-keeper 3.Unsolicited matchmaker 4.Obituary announcer
Top 10 reasons to stay in bed 1:it's bed 2:it's bed 3:it's bed 4:it's bed 5:it's bed 6:it's bed 7:it's bed 8:it's bed 9:it's bed 10:it's bed
She: I love you Me: I haven't felt an emotion since Tom & Jerry ended.....Why..WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY....WWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY
The best part about being sarcastic is that you don't even care if others get it or not.
Every girl has a tsunami of failed selfies on her phone which could be very useful for the sequels of Conjuring or Insidious.
In India, the only time people are careful about driving is when, they're on the wrong side of the one way.
I love my age. Old enough to know better. Young enough not to care. Experienced enough to do it right.
MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
@RealHughJackman This Dude is my inspiration...😄
@cinemasins im melting here..but you stay cool buddy..😂😮
@taylorswift13 Yeah..your right life is always greater.
Research has found that everyone is able to sing well — it is a learned skill that gets better with practice and worse with disuse.