Bitches call themselves Satan and heartless but whole time be crying over their ex every night
Black people targeted during worship at church
Women targeted at Planned Parenthood
Queer folks at a gay club
Like... these things matter
"Boys are so thirsty"
"My morning convos are closed"
"I have a boyfriend" 🙄o
Got me on flights overseas and I still can't get across to you.
"you shouldnt wear makeup"
"dont talk like this"
"you're a woman, you shouldn't.."
If a woman asks if she looks fat, it's not enough to say "no." You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary
If I don't ask how you feel please assume I don't care.
"I don't like you"
"I found someone better"
Criminal: "*points gun at me* do you wanna die today motha fucker?!"
Me: "kinda, yeah"
Criminal: "shit fam, you alright??"
When you thought you found a potential bae but y'all stop talking the same week....
Congrats, DAVID NORMAN, since the media would rather call you a drug dealer than say your name twitter.com/micnews/status…
i shaved my legs. ur coming to see me whether u like it or not
All summer '16
The next time u think it'd be a good idea to hmu don't
Belittling my ex boyfriend again, the usual.
When ppl break up And the one that can't let go want to be friends with family members bitch go get you some friends we all broke up with u😂
[giving tour of zoo]
Kid: how long is a giraffe's neck?
Me: long as fuck
Kid: how many feet though?
Me: he's got 4 feet & a long fucken neck
some hoe looking for attention VS a respectable father. Am I right ladies??
She tried dissing #BlackLivesMatter
and got dealt with. omg 🔥🔥amp.twimg.com/v/575bea56-c61…
That moment when you, a queen, come across another queen, and discuss how best to maximise your joint slay
when someone subtweets you
“I am doing something I hate for you. This is what it means to be in love.”
Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated
THE FUCKING SCREAM AT THE END 😭😭😭😭NW7wKv
when she keeps burning your scalp with the flat iron and you just gotta sit there and take it
When a man walks into the salon and you're just sitting there like
Chris Brown doesn't do ANYTHING better than Michael Jackson. I mean, currently in 2016 he might be better at breathing than MJ... MIGHT BE.
She still looks 9 relax pedophiles twitter.com/thetumblrposts…
when people waiting on your downfall but you’re a goat
threw her fucking purse in the TRASH rather than miss Beyonce
How men respond to being called out for sexual harassment and verbal abuse. The degree of misogyny is disturbing.
if i never tweet again it's coz i found true peace
I'm guilty of this 😭�rI
THESE 2 REACTIONS 😂😂�HIK
DO NOT TEXT ME WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING! I am not tryna be the one you last tried to text when they find your ass wrapped around a damn tree!
Relationship Goals 😍vine.co/v/iPmEeXKmh6I
Please don't judge me by my pictures I'm actually awkward as hell and laugh at my own jokes
When you're white and there's a lockdown on campus 💀😂UAC
when you're comfortable in bed and your mom calls your name and goes dead silent after you answer
me at night thinking about my man who not really my man and i shouldn't be mad cus he aint my man but that's my man
My girl use my slang, so if you tryna talk to her you really tryna talk to me and I said nah ..
COWORKER: I run 5K a day
ME: I also run 5K *whispering* where K = 0
COWORKER: did you say 'where K = 0'?
ME: *still whispering* solve for K
If ya girl mad at u all u gotta say is "Oh bae lemme tell u what I heard bout....nvm" and watch she try to be ya bestfriend for that tea
Can we sue the government for slavery? twitter.com/vicenews/statu…
"6 inch heels, she walked in the club like nobodies business"
Mom: y'all hungry?
Friend: no were good
Sex won't make him love you dumbass.
Why wait for him to wife you? Wife him.