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Is this a fuckin joke a want a refund a was promised hilarity alongside ma mediocre chocolate experience
Fucking WEIRD when girls tweet about knowing another girls boyfriend's snaking them. Tell her then u fat creepy tramp don't be such a cow ew
Coz I'm Mr brightsideeeeeeee😏😏😏
As if we got £106.44 of dominos for £15.25 and £10 credit on our account #winning
Just got a £106 worth of dominoes for £5 #winning
just charged us £5.25 for an order over £100 lol someone's getting fired 😂c
When life gives you lemons make egg fried rice cause then people will be like "woah , how the fuck have you done that then you nutter?!"
girl u don't even wanna know what she had to say about u the other day in confessional
Do you ever just...
Me: nah I'm not really drinking tonight
Me one hour later:
When he's telling you about himself but you already know everything cause you stalked his social media
Can't wait to go to uni 🎉🎉
I'm sure being dumped is hard or whatever idc but I know it can't compare to the pain of running out of alcohol before you're drunk.
i really want to go to uni now, like, i'm getting kinda excited
So my dad has actually gone to Italy and brought me back a calendar of the sexiest priests in Rome 😂m
Happy Father's Day dad! Even though you don't have IG I still love this photo of us pouting :) 😊instagram.com/p/4M4jJJqsGn/
When you're out with Ed Sheeran and Zach Braff but you remember that you’re a bastard whose father was executed.
When people mention their own selfie with no comment just so people will see it again 😒
Pretty sure Jill was giving away her boy ancestors away to the whitewalkers in the c2 exam
WHEN YOUR FRIEND GIVES U FOOD AND THEN STARTS LAUGHING
my sister goes to a catholic school and the teachers made them do a dance to uptown funk but with religious lyrics
When someone sets down a pizza right by you
Graham Nortons sass is the best part idc
Spending all the NHS money on a cheeky Nandos...
My mom bought REDUCED FAT Oreos and I have never been more offended in my life. The audacity.
I really do try so hard not to judge people but then they have the audacity to wear raccoon tails & socks with sandals & it really tests me.
OCR B Physics: 'Here is a QR code, now find the mass of a raindrop, triple back flip and sacrifice a beating heart to satan' was a question.
Not sure whether I'm more excited about my firebox order or the fact they put in a unexpected packet of sweets 😎
Unless Kate Middleton walked onto a funeral pyre and emerged unburnt with 3 baby dragons, I'm not interested.
I swear if someone proposed to someone else at MY WEDDING, we would throw down right there. Tryna steal my spotlight. Bitch you thought.
This bitch found out I'm gay and the first thing she did was ask me to straighten her hair. Macklemore didn't die for this.
I don't like the whole "putting inspirational quotes as your selfie captions" thing. Trust me, your face is not inspirational.
When will Jennifer Lopez learn to love herself and stop making songs with Pitbull?
When people are like "this deserves endless retweet" and your like yes but you don't
Someone has chopped some onions and just left them there and at half one this is annoying me
Out of the whole of the Labour Party was Ed Miliband really the best choice?
Finally firmed Loughborough this is kinda exciting 😁
Riding away from your bullshit like
When you were told that there would be food but you were lied to
When you used to hear a sad song so you'd stare out the car window and pretend to be in the music video like
Geordie Shore on the 7th and Made in Chelsea on the 13th yay 👍
Stop remixing slow songs and turning them into club songs 2K15. You're ruining these songs, you idiots.
When you think of a fire tweet but it's longer than 140 characters
Are you from Holland? Because amsterdayyyuuumm.