PSA: deliveroo has launched in Swansea and I am beyond happy! RIP my bank account and probably my waistline
If you think I haven't order specially made dog gingerbread biscuits to be delivered to my dog on Christmas you would be very wrong indeed
Offering rides to Craigslist people >>>>
Firstbus are the bane of my life, I hate them and their stupid buses that never come
So me and my dog are both teenagers at the same time what
We all say we're against cheating but we didn't have a problem when Robbie kissed Georgia in the pool behind slaggy Lindsay's back did we
It's been two months and I've only just realised the plant I've been so proud of keeping alive at uni is actually plastic...
It's amazing how much David Attenborough puts on the line to get the perfect shot
What 1975 song is this?
Post- remembrance pic outside greggs, such as honour to be part of the Swansea parade instagram.com/p/BMwjZHYDcpS/
"How did we let these clowns come this close to presidency" asks a nation on its 6th month of mourning a gorilla
"Trump thinks you're mad at him Bc hes running for pres"
"I'm not mad at him I'm worried about him I think someone nominated him as a joke"
2016 just took a major turning point AARON JOHNSON IS FIT AGAIN
"this isn't an assignment that you can do the night before"
roses are red
wine is the nicest
my head is so congested I'm so hungover and am facing an existential crisis
I bet you won't like and retweet because you're too ashamed to have a picture of the BIBLE on your timeline.
Finally some good news
I guess im the only with HALLOWEEN SPIRIT!!!
YASS! We're so excited to share that a #ThatsSoRaven
spin-off starring @ravensymone
is coming to #DisneyChannel
How the fuck do you sleep at night?
Aww bless my professor for apologising for cancelling my 9am tomorrow morning it was literally a dream come true
Can't fucking stand #GBBOFinal
without Selasi, so I'm faceswapping the shit out of it
When I don't like someone and somebody asks me why:
whoever invented the track list for angus thongs and perfect snogging is a god
"who's that tweet about?"
Although Trump has given a bad name to reality TV stars running for office I would still support Selasi if he chose to run for PM #GBBO
me: "whos a good boy!!!?"
not all heroes wear capes
'A person who is very flat chested is hard to be 10' aw thanks Donald trump ya fat ginger prick no ma fault you've got bigger tits than me🖕🏽
cant believe there are people out there who say 'wethers' instead of 'spoons'
You can literally stop a girl mid toilet conversation be like "your too good for him" and it will ALWAYS be relevant
If you are the guy who stands in the corners of clubs and lurks just don't please on behalf of everyone everywhere
I only joined Twitter to find people whose tweets represent the views of their employer. This is bullshit.
My plan to cheer everyone up after such a horrible 2016 by dressing up as a friendly clown has backfired massively.
quotes in a bar bathroom
It's not a baby then is it
i dont think this was meant to be this dark
Can no longer deny I have freshers flu 😩
Was so hungover earlier I closed my eyes and kept seeing Angela Merkel
nah imagine I got w a boy just to get £20 out his back pocket for our taxi home 😹 I hate myselfh
Shoutout to whoever dropped a fiver in fiction and indirectly paid for my jägerbombs
Liquid clearly did something to be last night. Sorry Boohoo customer service 😶l
Being drunk and then coming home and seeing my dog is just 👌🏻
Why the hell do guys tell you to smile, like obviously your presence displeases me jog on mate
When you get in at half five and have to get up at seven 🙃🙃🙃