I'm so clever that sometimes I don't understand what exactly I am saying.
I hate plants so I get rid of them. Burn it baby!
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Your naked body should belong only to those who fall in love with your naked soul.
Is Silicon the same in Spanish? Si. HAHAHA
Did you know Ironman is Female? "Fe" is "iron" and "male" is "man".
What did you do with a dead chemist? Barium. Yeah, it is that bad.
Oxygen and Potassium went on a date. It went OK.
Borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
There are 3 kinds of people in the world… those who can count and those who can’t. :p
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Man's most common fault is not knowing what he doesn't know.
She, who has a face like a Saint - A Saint Bernard.
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... does that mean that one in five enjoys it?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost, and blamed it on the cost of living.
If people from Poland are called 'Poles', why aren't people from Holland called 'Holes?'
Don't wish ill for your enemy, plan it.
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
Old people shouldn't eat healthy foods. They need all the preservatives they can get. LOL
Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).