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Carl Denham
Just another day where I wince thinking about that scene in Akira when Tetsuo stands on that glass and smashes it
Doing some research into changing careers…
Who is this Rorschach guy and why does he always paint the struggle between capitalists and the proletariat?
Retweeted by Carl Denham
The new @kidkoala show looks incredible! Let's all go and have a grand old time…
Life hack: experience 50% more life by cutting out all blinking.
Retweeted by Carl Denham
This joke takes place in a fictional world where me and a slightly more macabre Mary Poppins get invited to word based fancy dress events
Plans for tonight? Hot date? Bank heist? Cancel and come watch my 1st set and a smörgåsbord of other #comedy acts…
GF: I want you to be honest with me ME: It's tricky GF: Please! ME: Okay... [We arrive at a party in a two man honest costume]
What does the label in a Essex girl's knickers say? "Made in Cambodia by exploited children for the benefit of the west's throwaway culture"
Retweeted by Carl Denham
OFFICE UPDATE: They are now playing Dido.
"Hey Freddy, where's your shoulder-girl?" "My what? Aw shit"
Retweeted by Carl Denham
I think the point I'm trying to make is I don't really understand why anyone bothers showing up for work
And the government has a program for invisible assassins
This is a world where gym teachers can turn people into fish monsters and a college student can make an android that can pass for human
I'm surprised people even have time to make media let alone see it and make witty pop culture references
Look what happened in the episode where you see a world where Buffy never turned up, places all over the world would be like that
Sure there's factions other than Buffy's troops fighting against them but after centuries one side would have come out on tops by now
Then all the other demons and creatures it'd be chaos
392 occurrences that can range from minor supernatural oddities to mass murder
That's 196 demons that's sole aim is to seek out people that want vengeance. Say they only grant two wishes each a day that's 392
They mention an order and there's enough for gossip to be spread. Let's be generous and say there's at least one in every country
Like let's look at the vengeance demons alone, how many are there? Taking into account Sunnydale is on a Hellmouth and has two
How can anyone maintain a normal life in the Buffy universe?
FRIEND: I want you to stop talking rubbish ME: I'm sorry. [I cancel my one man puppet show made entirely of garbage]
#ThrowbackThursday do you remember the womb? It was so safe and warm in there wasn't it? #Nostalgia #LetsDoAmnioticFluidShots
Made a list of things I can't forget then I forgot the list
Ayn Rand brand fortune cookie
TWEETED L❤VE ➘… Twitter "sings" Soft Cell. A punster's parody. (Do share if you like it.)
Retweeted by Carl Denham
Samurai Warriors & bass heavy funk these are a few of my favourite things #Thundercat…
How To Correct a Date On Nerd Knowledge… via @dorkly
Torn between being really productive and wanting to hide and play Hohokum for hours
The Beach Boys enter a pub: "Get a round." "Round?" "Round." "I'll get a round."
Retweeted by Carl Denham
Dress for the job you want, not the one you have
FAVE: Every conversation has a hilarious reference you don't get RT: Every 9th person you meet bursts into flames #WouldYouRather
The reaction when blood meets 30% hydrogen peroxide.
Retweeted by Carl Denham
I stagger up to the alter in a dress made from M&S luncheon meats and smashed Hear'say CD's, I let rip a guttural roar "We will be wed!"
Jesus Myleene let a man down gently. I'd already booked a venue
I know it's popular to hate them but it's almost fascinating watching someone listen to them and be really into it
People in the office slated my music yesterday, give 'em free reign today and they play *shudders* Nickleback
The Billie Jean video must make him really lose his shit…
M.C. Escher is the worst rapper
If you want to make absolutely sure I never check out your gaming channel DM with the link the second I follow back
Just saw a cop with a face tattoo which means somewhere there is a dead naked cop.
Retweeted by Carl Denham

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