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Carl Denham
Just downloaded JustEat. Chances of my bloated, msg filled corpse being found alone surrounded by takeaway boxes increases 45%
You don't like how I'm living? Well, fuck you
Look at the high quality premium entertainment you're missing out on by not having me on snapchat (DrDenham)
A sarcastic cover of Ring of Fire by Frank Zappa youtube.com/watch?v=X5OJOK…
List of adults I would like as a personal mentor/confidant: 1. @sueperkins 2. Guillermo del Toro 3. This guy:
#DatingAdvice Talking loads? Time just flying by? Has everything around you turned to dust? Confirm each others immortality before commiting
Sadly not at Nine Worlds but I am taking a jaunt into London for BBQ and bands, come say hello! facebook.com/events/3890214…
Has anyone calculated Buffy's vampire kills against other creatures? I want to know if really she's more of a demon slayer
Angel's Irish accent
Buffy just said something along the lines of "Democracy never accomplishes anything" ergo Joss Whedon must be a communist #Kony2012
Buffy's Mum, Glory, Anya, Drucilla's accent, Kendra's accent
For the 'funny guy' a lot of characters are funnier than Xander; Cordelia, Giles, that demon that housesits Spike's place when he's out
So this episode they've gone to find the most ancient and powerful apocalypse demon's secret arsenal and they've been stockpiling spears!?
It's awful and it seems the writers/characters couldn't decide whether Spike was responsible for his actions (clue he totally was).
That has to be the most badly handled part of this show.
Spike's arc is bizarre; villain/murderer, comic relief, love interest?, fuck buddy, RAPIST, super best friend problem solving man
Wicked stressed? Situation blows? While Faith was away it seems she read a book on nineties slang #Buffy
Can you murder bees with an iron flail in your precious Ocarina of Time? No you can't #Alundra
Aww gee thanks for letting me know what I'm up to twitter
And so it begins...
Also go see @elf_lyons and @PhilNWang both are superb and I'm gutted I haven't seen 'em live yet #edfringe
Those of you at the @edfringe I highly recommend you give @usolcomedy's Hyperbowl a ganders facebook.com/events/1627833… #edfringe
This gif of a hot nickel ball placed on a block of foam is also what happens when you're in a relationship with me
Retweeted by Carl Denham
At least two of these words are lies
In which Gandalf has also had too much
Retweeted by Carl Denham
Woah, woah, woah hold up. @NathanFillion turns up in an episode of Buffy!? Why wasn't I notified?
Season 7 Buffy loves a speech. Shame they're about a war that's taking longer to get here than a winter in Westeros
Books Giles has rather than something you can pick up in Waterstones
If Buffy researched this principal and spike plot would have been clocked right away. That information is readily available in books
Back to Buffy, what does having a soul even mean on that show? Sometimes it's very literal
A moth has drowned itself in my toilet. There were socks to eat, a light to fly towards but it still wasn't enough for it to keep going
I like when I get under people's skins just by existing. It's so much less work than using a knife.
Retweeted by Carl Denham
If only there was a way beyond words I could express my distain at the thought of an Emoji movie...
Don't get what they're trying to do with these nerd characters, it's played for comedy but just seems tragic. Like The Big Bang Theory ayyo!
I think I dislike Warren more than Riley and I really disliked Riley #Buffy
Anyone found any decent cheaper alternatives to Citadel paints? Dishing out close to £50 on paint for a couple of skeletons is a bit much
On no I forgot to do a sarcastic #ThrowbackThursday post, guess you'll just have to REMEMBER last week's
.@BoingBoing @therealelp this just reminds me that Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 was fun
Bwahahahaha! In case you ever wondered what show I've been watching. Disappointed with my swearing though
Great my sister has got a pet bird. Wasn't one annoying attention-seeking creature enough? Going to have to step my game up
This joke takes place in a fictional universe where me and a 1968 Claudia Cardinale get invited to wacky word-themed parties
[Important meeting] ME: Take my business card *Hands managing director the black spot* THE BOARD: Ooooooooo
#DatingAdvice Eye contact. Maintain actual, physical contact with your dates eyes to really let them know you're paying attention
Yes that is Lemmy with a copy of 2000ad and yes it is the most metal thing on the planet
Retweeted by Carl Denham




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