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Carl Deadman
Here's What It Would Look Like If Disney Princesses Were Tried For War Crimes In The Nuremberg Trials
Retweeted by Carl Deadman
If you were me (and I am) I'd go to @HazelFunnyFarm's glorious night tonight.…
Wittgenstein said:"The limits of your language are the limits of your world".The same is true of your visual language. Be curious. Want more
Retweeted by Carl Deadman
One of the greatest stories ever told:
This creature decided it was acceptable to land on my head this morning
So is that a no on the toilet then?
Tonight I'm off to enjoy a superb night of comedy from @glitterjo, @Realsoz, @RobSComedy & @iamthombarrett at the @AsylumCM1 join us!
This Is What Disney Princesses Would Look Like If They Were Articles From A Terrible Website
Retweeted by Carl Deadman
This Friday you can watch your favourite monsters and a pumpkin do stand-up comedy, with a dracula hosting!…
You could wait and become dust or matter sucked into our dead sun's black hole, that wouldn't be as funny because I am a skeleton on Friday
A #trans woman has been sent to a male prison because paperwork is more important than her safety;…
Retweeted by Carl Deadman
A new theme for the next ten days starting with this. #Inktober Day 12: Octopus
Retweeted by Carl Deadman
Well their skeletons are what is left when everything else has rotted away
Another way this is a joke is that when people wait for too long they die and then if no one does anything about it they turn into skeletons
Really nice article about @glitterjo, @usolcomedy, @HazelFunnyFarm and how great the comedy scene is in Colchester in the @TheGazette today
This is also a joke because folk like Fridays more than other days because of the weekend. Even though a lot of people don't work set hours
Anyone play @StarRealms here? Just bought the digital version, add me 'LLCoolMage' so we can space brawl #StarRealms
PATIENT: Doctor Doctor I think it's a Tuesday *Doctor checks calendar* DOCTOR: I have some bad news...
This is a joke because I am a skeleton at the event.
Here is a tiny owl with mushrooms, in the rain. Photos by Tanja Brandt.
Retweeted by Carl Deadman
Would anyone be interested in a Buffy-themed Tumblr called "Get That Fucking Thing Off Your Head"
Retweeted by Carl Deadman
I'm planning a trip to The British Library. I'm going to trawl through their newspaper archives... to research a joke
Need a haircut soon, I'm starting to look like Spider-Man 3 Peter Parker has just finished writing his one-man autobiographical play
Have you all seen what @missdianemorgan has gone and done?… After watching this I watched a Koople video... wankers
Tonight a new Hyper Bowl from @usolcomedy is being unleashed and I'll be doing some stand up. Come along!…
If you're wondering what I'm up to right now I'm sat on a bench watching a cat devour a discarded pork pie
"There were stories about what happened." "It's true, all of it" Well except the extended universe… #StarWars
Today the girl Marty stole the hoverboard off didn't get to school on time, starting a tragic downward spiral that ends in death #GreatScott
Whenever I see Christopher Lloyd do something as Doc Brown again I like to imagine him whispering "For fuck's sake" to himself just before
'Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens' or as I like to call it 'Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope HD'
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! White people amirite?…
This deserves more internet attention than its getting.
Retweeted by Carl Deadman
I haven't learnt any Spanish, soy un perdedor.
I like this one, with Vader using the force to pull TIE fighters out Han and Leia's eyes
At first glane I thought Daisy Ridley was holding the most impractical lighsaber yet
At this… tonight @scotkc is performing, have you seen him do stand up yet? You really should!
Dear #Marvel, #Disney, I'll right your Doctor Doom movie. Sincerely, Someone that won't cock up the best villain in your roster

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