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WHO LET THIS GIRL IN THE KRABBY PATTY VAULT
You females are more responsive when niggas disrespect you than when they compliment you.
WHEN THE HEAD GAME WAS A1
SON: can i come upstairs and see my new puppy now?
ME: its not really a puppy
ME: (snapping a dog collar onto a racoon) its better
When you having fun on Twitter and sensitive people start entering ya mentions
Pill Cosby With The Shot Boy! 😭💀dd
Why yo teacher look like spongebobs grandma?
: my teacher wants to take a selfie with me 😐�Et"
when bae asks what i like about her
There's never disappointment in a sunset
Just saw someone in a "live fast, die young" t-shirt buying broccoli
yikes.. accidentally yelled judge judy during sex instead of judge joe brown
Obama short form: What's the harm if Iran does get an itsy-bitsy nuke?
[me and cellmate breaking out of prison]
prison guard: THAT BETTER NOT BE BREAKING OUT I HEAR IN THERE
Our free and open Internet has made invaluable contributions to democracy both here in the United States and around the world.
should stick to scripted speechs
Photo: which way? I am really enjoying trying to master night photography. This particular image will... tmblr.co/Zb0hgx1pdwIJl
IM CRYING BRUH 😭�p2
Just realized I've been holding my breath for fifteen years.
It is "Functioning Alcoholic" to you, thank you very much.
White people in movies be having eggs, bacon, and pancakes on the table & they take one sip of coffee & be like "Gotta run hun" NIGGA WHAT?
RT For Nash Grier
FAV For Cabbage Guy
I'M CRYING 😂6
I once dated a girl who didn't need me to open jars for her. It was pretty convenient but the handjobs were crippling.
I believe that fake flowers are the root of all evil.
HOW YOU LOOK WHEN SHE SUCKIN YO DICK AND STARTS USING TEETH
meek mill always looks like he didnt exactly understand what you just said
We gonna RT Uncle Phil back into life?
: Enough RTs & this will be a reality. #DontStopRTing
I'm at Watershed Nature Center in Edwardsville, IL swarmapp.com/c/76nA0SsOpTC
Thank Christ you posted that inspirational tweet. My depression, stress, and anxieties have all vanished.
WHY SHE LOOK LIKE SHE BOUTTA STEAL CHRISTMAS
When your rap career down the drain so you take a new job being a conspiracy theorist
Ferguson..... Obama speaks out.
Baltimore...... Obama speaks out.
Charleston..... Obama speaks out.
San Francisco... Not a word from Obama.
green crack, purple kush and mellow yellow.
Photo: before pic of my uncle/aunts lake. They are turning their property into the next best winery in... tmblr.co/Zb0hgx1pOjdo7
Photo: skippin’ rocks tmblr.co/Zb0hgx1pOj2J-
Photo: Anything goes on a friday night. tmblr.co/Zb0hgx1pOi4Au
Photo: - All I wanna do today us wear my favorite shades and get stoned- tmblr.co/Zb0hgx1pObTjn
THIS NIGGA SHOOTING HIM IN FAKE JORDANS 😭😭vnk
I'm at my most porno when eating a Mexican corn on the cob bought at 3am from a street vendor.
Real life GTA 😂5
Americans deserve affordable access to the Internet, not hidden fees and rising prices.
[Every restaurant ever]
Manager: "Has he got a mouthful of food?"
Manager: "Go and ask him how his meal is."
My photo's just been accepted by @stockimo
& it's now for sale on @alamy #photography #excited