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Colin Quinn
If someone's laugh is too loud and it's making everybody uncomfortable, give them the "accidental shoulder"into the grill.
If there's a family member with an exposed breast or ball, tactfully give them the eye to let them know the party is no longer "PG".
If there's a pet or small child harassing you while you're trying to eat, lock them in a bathroom and then say it was an accident.
If the music gets too loud and the family starts cursing, step in and let them know you'll be leaving if things don't improve.
Watch your diet today. Have some salad instead of that extra helping of mac'n cheese. Do some (tasteful) stretches to work off that burger!
@iamcolinquinn Enough of slandering CQ. Here he is a collage of him being very responsible around beverages. pic.twitter.com/X7de6sniHY
Retweeted by Colin Quinn
People see me do stand up and right away they have to categorize. "Brilliant" or "Edgy and Hilarious" Enough with the labels, gang.
@AnthonyCumia @iamcolinquinn Many scholars point to this incident as the catalyst the drove Hitler in Poland. pic.twitter.com/9T8fGahVK3
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@iamcolinquinn Tonight's show is when CQ finally hits on all cylinders and figures it all out. youtu.be/Bphku5Q2aRM
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At a certain point ego gets involved with some (all) of the other comics. I've never been that way. With me ego is the pursuit of a fool.
@iamcolinquinn So if I get enough people to demand you get hit by a bus...?
Retweeted by Colin Quinn
Going out to do standup. Why do I keep doing it after all this time? Simple: Demand.
@iamcolinquinn great 7pm show at the cellar last night, this really is an under-rated ice cream bar pic.twitter.com/m9assfhWqm
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@iamcolinquinn @AnthonyCumia ♪ Well I had a little drink about an hour ago and it’s gone right to my head! ♫I pic.twitter.com/QpIDFLPLm6
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Why did @iamcolinquinn have to spill his drink and cause Anderson Silva to hurt himself? @AnthonyCumia pic.twitter.com/IAGTT11wt4
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.@angelinajolie @bradpitt Haha, I called it last year, did I not? At Cannes. Seriously congrats if u have a post wedding thing Im there!!
.@bonniemcfarlane great set on Letterman. Did @RichVos talk about how they never booked him on the drive home or at dinner?
An important part of my career is guest on many t.v. shows and that footage makes me look like a perfect ass and a bad guest. @AnthonyCumia
Gang, stop sending those pics of me spilling on @AnthonyCumia show. It's making me look like a perfect klutz and it's bad for my reputation.
I can't get enough of the photoshops of @iamcolinquinn spilling his soda. These are great pic.twitter.com/9Eg7tmOCgb
Retweeted by Colin Quinn
I'm about to get on the train. The A to the F. Sounds dirty! I went there! Haha. All good, gang. Keep fighting the good fight, team!
@iamcolinquinn When you start using "Gang" in conversation can "Brah" be far away?¿? pic.twitter.com/Ftmlu6oe60
Retweeted by Colin Quinn
You have to give me credit for one thing, gang. I'm considered very intelligent by some people. Give me that at least.
@iamcolinquinn CQ fan stages: 1.find CQ's trolling amusing 2.begin to jokingly troll back 3.begin to angrily troll back 4.declare caliphate
Retweeted by Colin Quinn