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Chris Ramsey
standup comedy 306,115 followers
Just got @Ginofantastico to phone me wife as a laugh because she's a fan... When she said she was in bed he asked what she was wearing #Lad
7h
Also guys, take a second to vote for @TheatreRoyalNew for most welcoming theatre here- bit.ly/1s53ulu (takes 20 seconds)
8h
SO much fun recording @CelebJuice tonight. Catch it on Thursday at 10pm on @itv2 (had a shit on the floor in here) pic.twitter.com/b1rAORgZW8
8h
That's the coaster! RT >> “@bri_aslett: @IAmChrisRamsey whats the ninja star for”
So I'll definitely be throwing away all of my other mugs when I get home. Best. Mug. Ever! pic.twitter.com/iNzg4Poapo
He's back on Celebrity Juice this week and @IAmChrisRamsey is back in Derby in October ... why aye! pic.twitter.com/sysMVmNNgQ
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Off to record @CelebJuice... Taking some holy water and a wooden stake.
If a woman with fake boobs breast feeds... Is it soy milk?
Katie Price has called her daughter Bunny. Bunny Price. With that name she'll never have to play the 'what's your porn name' game
Today's lesson: don't attempt to put eye drops in on a moving train... Disaster. I looked like I was trying having the smallest shower ever.
How often is London Fashion Week? Impossible to get hotels! If I get one I'm going to walk around the lobby in a tracksuit to upset everyone
I was counting on the kitchen fitter being my human alarm clock today… but he saw that all the blinds were shut and just left his card. Shit
Don't miss @IAmChrisRamsey on ITV's Celebrity Juice at 10pm on Thu 18 Sep! See him @TheGulbenkian in Nov ow.ly/BkxVQ
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This bottle opener looks like it's seen some scary shit... pic.twitter.com/A2OJQuldOn
Only charity representing the North East. Help us win 50k to screen hearts & place AED's comparethemarket.com/neighbourhoods… @IAmChrisRamsey
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Watching 'The Perfect Wedding' @thecustomshouse in South Shields. Awesome local theatre comedy farce! It's on tomorrow too if anyone fancies
Already excited about Juice next week with @GabbyLogan & @IAmChrisRamsey! And the saga continues.Good V Evil #Bangtastic4 #LeagueOfBastards
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I'm playing #Destiny so much... I think I'm growing my virginity back
Lovely chat with the ladies on @macaulayandco just there. I'll be in Scotland on 5th and 6th October tickets here- chrisramseycomedy.com/gigs
Off to do some radio interviews
Yes indeed :) RT >> “@coolkilo45: @IAmChrisRamsey are you gonna be on new series of celebrity juice?”
Right, I'm spending too much time on my PS4, I dreamt I was in #Destiny. This hasn't happened since I was 10 and had Worms... The game...
Wow... RT >> “@DanCarey94: @IAmChrisRamsey any chance of a uk tour soon?”
Aww Scotland, don't go... I've got a couple of beers in the fridge, the PS4 is on and I don't have to be up tomorrow... Howay man!
Me mam and dad have for quite a little collection going now... #ShieldsMassive @edfringe@ThePleasance pic.twitter.com/wkqLovahVT
@IAmChrisRamsey What has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps, can run but cannot walk, and has a bank but no money?
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ABERYSTWTH - My tour hits you on OCTOBER 2nd. I look forward to solving a riddle to get through the city gates… aberystwythartscentre.co.uk/comedy/chris-r…
Sixth Sense star Haley Joel Osment has definitely left his childhood years behind him huff.to/WNj4nu pic.twitter.com/wrh6pNMDJy
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@IAmChrisRamsey all across the UK dogs are confused as to why their owners are sat at the door growling at people who aren't the postman.
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Hurry the fuck up Mr Postman ... #Destiny
Remember that mini film I did for Avios where I gave loads of flights away? I was really 'slick' wasn't I? Nope - youtube.com/watch?v=ZtWym_…
Popped to @jasonmarkcook's house to do some work… wonder which WiFi is his? pic.twitter.com/U44oMcBsyD
Morning all. My tour starts again on October 1st. Look at all the places! Get tickets here- chrisramseycomedy.com/gigs pic.twitter.com/DKfEwT6hCU
There's a great play on @thecustomshouse next week called 'Perfect Wedding'. I'm gonna see it! #SupportLocalTheatre customshouse.co.uk/whats-on/Theat…
Jarra Jim is an absolute legend #GNR2014
I I think I'll spend most of this week clapping at regular joggers around Shields #GNR2014
Good luck to all doing the the #GreatNorthRun #GNR2014... Thinking of you as I eat this and sit in my pants :) pic.twitter.com/87Hb5qIbir
Watch us wreck the mic, watch us wreck the mic, watch us wreck the mic... Night night.
Helium balloons at a family party will NEVER get old #fact
At the metro arena watching @antanddec... Geoff from Byker Grove was just on the big screen. Most star struck I've ever been!
I've just seen the most North East thing ever... A bloke trying to fix a Subaru Impreza outside of a Gills Chip Shop
If comedy goes tits up I want to work in KwikFit. Just getting a tyre changed and the lad is showing me how it's done. BEST DAY EVER!