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Howler

Christmas Eve and I've just confirmed a rumour. White Guys can't wrap. howler.co/joke/19256
I own part of my friends pet cow. Well, I've got a steak in it... howler.co/joke/19248
*Goes to walk away* *Stops and turns around* Just one more thing...I've discovered America. - Christopher Columbo
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I promise no Christmas innuendos. Merry Christmas! Santa's sack is full! He's coming! #Christmas #lol #comedy #humour
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ME: Why have we brought my mate Dave to Ikea just to buy a wardrobe? WIFE: No reason. *To Dave* See if you fit in this one.
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I broke up with Captain Hook when he asked who my favourite pirate is. "It's not you, it's Smee," I replied.
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Just been to the cash machine. "Do you want an advice slip?" I pressed yes:
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Never move your castle diagonally in a game of chess.... It's a rookie error!
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Miss Colombia has booked an appointment at the dentist today. Apparently she lost a Crown last night. #MissUniverse2015
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Don’t get a pet goose, it will only bring you down.#ccjokes #pun #1pun
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Bought Earl Grey's old house Now that is a proper tea  #1pun
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I tend to vomit everytime I launch my dvd copy of a Disney animated movie into the air. *Throws Up* #1PUN
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Despite crippling inheritance tax my late father managed to leave me his cheese making business. Where there's a will there's a whey. #1PUN
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My new house is being made out of cheese. I'm using bries blocks #1pun
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No matter how good your jokes about Helium balloons are, it's still probably going to go over my head.
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Was a whole loaf the best thing before sliced bread? howler.co/joke/19210
Christmas Eve has been officially changed to Christmas Eva. howler.co/joke/19171
Doctor Doctor, I’m scared of Santa : You’re suffering from Claus-trophobia howler.co/joke/19181
I was so desperate to get out of IT, I went to work on a fishing boat. I still find myself searching for ports. howler.co/joke/19144
Man arrested at airport for smuggling gold in his rectum. The least wise of the three men. howler.co/joke/19135
I was so desperate to get out of IT, I went to work on a fishing boat... howler.co/joke/19140
Are we all ready for Christmas? howler.co/search?keyword…
A musical about Cuba has had real trouble hiring an understudy for the lead role. No one wants to play second Fidel. howler.co/joke/19064
Never treat a man like an object. It hates that. howler.co/joke/19029
The most boring thing in the universe is me standing under a mistletoe. 🎄😻howler.co/joke/19045DBd
I job a job as a sperm donor. I had to work a week in hand. howler.co/joke/19027
Check out @Comedian_U for some useful articles for comedians. comedianu.com
Yay! Joke #19000 - Well done #teamhowler! 🎉 howler.co/joke/19000h
I'm trying to get into the the whole meditation thing - it's better than sitting around doing nothing. howler.co/joke/18943
I can't eat the meat of animals with hooves... I use a fork and knife instead. howler.co/joke/18944
Pensioner locked in loo for four days said she could of done with a stool. howler.co/joke/18970
I've heard that Miss Colombia has booked an appointment at the Dentist today. Apparently she lost a crown last night howler.co/joke/18986
Today I've been finding fault with everyone's Christmas jumpers. Knit picking really. #1PUN
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If you're enjoying Howler why not support us, details: patreon.com/howler
I was once in a band called the Sewing Machines but we lost our lead Singer. howler.co/joke/18951
Pensioner locked in loo for four days is rescued. She says she's very relieved. howler.co/joke/18958
I was once in a band called the Auto-Parts but we didn't get any brakes. howler.co/joke/18942
I can't eat the meat of animals with hooves... I'm lack-toes intolerant howler.co/joke/18940
Pensioner locked in loo for four days. She was actually due 4 days off in lieu. howler.co/joke/18858
I'm trying to get into the Medical business but I don't think I've got the patients for it. howler.co/joke/18912
In the cemetery I saw 4 men carrying a coffin round and round. I think they had lost the plot. howler.co/joke/18888
My first wife's idea of a marathon sex session was fantasising about Mo Farrah and Paula Radcliffe. howler.co/joke/18861
LOADS of setups that need your punchlines. Get stuck in! howler.co/setups
People crying tears of milk can be cheered up by giving them a quick curdle. howler.co/joke/18848
 




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