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annie
Cool story this awful cold/flu is actually pneumonia
Accidentally called scalliwag Bella like ten times.
Ally is listening to the entire from under the cork tree album and that's why she's da best manager
Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you
I love being an adult and living with Jordan and all but I miss eating cereal and celery for dinner instead of making full meals.
I have strep throat and I would appreciate it if someone would bring me a milkshake
I've never taken a sick day before but my job is 100% talking to people and I have no voice.
My whole throat is swollen please take care of me
I have literally the worst cramps of my life
Listening in to a student on the phone waiting in the FA office "I don't sugar coat shit I'm a gangster. Fuck your dishes"
Jordan's studying for the FE exam, it's beautiful out, and Remi and I are eating lunch on my parents patio. Let's hang out friends!
I will pay 20 dollars to someone if they feed me and rub my back
SO BORED AT WORK NONE OF MY KIDS SHOWED UP OF COURSE
This teeny silicone arrow is supposed to remain in my year duct for life for my dry eye. I managed to claw mine out pic.twitter.com/qhtXXoVCy0
I thought I had a stubborn eye crust on my eye today. Nope just pulled out my permanent silicone punctal plug from my tear duct.
Working in a department that's 75% women, daily there is an audible "I'm so fat I eat so much" at lunch time
Is it rude to flag an email as high importance cause this guidance counselor sucks at responding
I have no upper lip. I just realized that
A student asked if my watch was Rolex. I felt bad telling her it's from Windsor
I LOVE OUR RECEPTIONISTS and ally's head twirl in the picture. Root beer floats just because pic.twitter.com/Hs8B6RiQvm
Jordan has never seen Wall-E goodbye
Hookah and blanket nests 😻
@HoodieAllen: Engineers know how to party” @JordanDBorst
Maybe I'm just in love when you wake me up. Maybe I fell in love when you woke me up
Five years ago today I got my first tattoo. Weird.
Rich people run funny. Maybe because of all the money in their pockets. Or it's their big, rich, golden weiners.
For reference, I text students on my work phone. But this is freaking weird
Also I just realized I'm 23 now and not 22. Weird
OMG I AM DYING ONE OF MY STUDENTS IS HARDCORE FLIRTING WITH ME HELP STOP
I have seen this probably 30 times and it's never not funny pic.twitter.com/6puvk3cs6L
while cooking dinner I bit into a pepper, realized it wasn't done enough & threw it back in the pan. That was disgusting why did I do that
I was just eating and had to sneeze so I ended up spitting out chewed food all over. Again, I'm thankful for my own office
Jesus Christ my guilt is so overwhelming.
@GingerProblems: Dating a redhead is the best challenge you will ever take!” @JordanDBorst
Once upon a time I cared about how I looked and modeled but now I am a dumpy old lady pic.twitter.com/Z2o3Ar90vI
YOUR PHONE WAS IN SERVICE YESTERDAY WHY IS IT DISCONNECTED TODAY
I think you and the moon and Neptune got it right.
Easter at the Wisconsin club with my second family
Man I just took a picture of my cleavage in this shirt to show to Jordan and I'm so impressed with my boobs right now.